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When Your Child Says "I HATE YOU!"... They are Really Just Mad

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You've done so much for them, slaved for them, and sacrificed for them, and then if you don't give them what they want, they get mad at you. It hardly seems fair, all the things we do for our kids and they don't appreciate it. Then we hear them say things like, "I hate you," or "I hate this house." We hear, "You're a mean mom," or "I'm mad at you!" It's common for kids to get mad at their parents but the solution is the hardest for parents to do... just let them be mad. Effective parents learn quickly that they are not their child's friend; they are their parents. But if the parents aren't prepared to hear it and know how to respond, they get defensive or they get even. Worse, they give in to regain the love the child is withholding. I was in the toy section of a department store one day, shopping for a gift for my grandson. A mom and her little boy were in the same aisle, and the little boy, about seven, was admir

DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD

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14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD – Compose a poem about your child or describing how much you love her. Print if off on special preprinted paper with a border that can be purchased at office supply stores. Frame it and hang it on your child’s bedroom wall. You could even include the child’s picture or her foot or handprints if you had them done earlier. Sign it and read it to her nightly.

DAY 13 FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM FEEL LOVED

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14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 13 FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM FEEL LOVED – Ask your child what he likes others to do to or for him that makes him feel loved. Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF CHILDREN (Northfield Publishing, 1997), explains how each individual feels loved in different ways; receiving gifts, hearing words of affirmation, acts of kindness, or touch. Ask your child which one makes him feel loved.

DAY 12: MAILBOXES

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14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 12: MAILBOXES – In a family meeting have everyone make and decorate a mailbox using any household craft items. On slips of paper, have everyone write short love notes to everyone at the table as a practice run and then insert them in the appropriate mailboxes. Have everyone hang their mailboxes on their bedroom door knobs for accepting mail whenever someone desires to write a note.

DAY 11: SHARE HOW YOU LOVE YOURSELF

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14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 11: SHARE HOW YOU LOVE YOURSELF – Create teachable moments with your child when they are open to learning, by explaining (and demonstrating) what you do to love yourself. This might be a tough exercise for some, but teaching a child to love himself starts by setting a healthy example they can see.

DAY 10: CRAFT PROJECT

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14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 10: CRAFT PROJECT – Using a family meeting, have everyone create a craft project that represents love to them. Provide a wide selection of construction paper and craft supplies and allow your children to create whatever comes to mind. Put the creations on display for everyone to see and enjoy, and photograph them to look at for many years to come.

DAY 9: MOVIE NIGHT

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14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 9: MOVIE NIGHT – Have a movie night with your child(ren), complete with big pillows to snuggle up with and a big bowl of popcorn. The one difference in making this night special is that the movie being featured will be the home movies you have of your child(ren)!