Showing posts from September, 2012

How to Use Lecture to Teach Children

The word discipline is a variation of the word disciple, which means student or follower.  It is my belief that a parent or teacher must strive to teach children many positive lessons as they grow.  Discipline must never involve getting even with the child, making her pay for bad behavior, making her feel regret, or showing who's the boss.  What we must teach them through discipline includes: how to meet their needs appropriately, hear their inner voice for guidance and encouragement, to be self-sufficient, to draw boundaries, to create positive relationships, to solve their own problems, to take care of themselves, and more.  

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It is my opinion that the most effective methods for teaching children must be designed to treat the child with fairness and respect, using unconditional love.  They also differ greatly from the methods used by our parents.Because of this, they can be challenging for some adults to grasp and maste…

I was paddled and I turned out OK

That’s the quote from members of the Texas legislature as reported in a recent story released by ABC News.It’s also a statement I have heard a zillion times from those questioning my parenting methodology that offers parents alternatives to spanking.To those people I say, “That’s great that you turned out OK, but why not take measures so our kids turn out awesome, not just OK like you?”These measures I’m referring to suggest removing the paddle from the parent (or teacher) toolbox.

Rethinking Homework: Best Practices That Support Diverse Needs

In the story in which members of the Texas legislature were quoted (link here), a high school girl was paddled for allowing another student to copy her school work.  This female student chose to be paddled over a detention because she did not want to miss any classes.  The primary reason that it made the news was because, although her parents supported the punishment, they did not like the fact that she was spanked by a male school official.  Appa…

A New Web Danger to Our Children: OMEGLE!

There are two Web sites attracting more and more children and teens that many parents are not aware of.These sites are a danger to children and parents need to know about them now!One is Omegle and the other is Chat Roulette, and they are both accessible from any Internet-enabled device, such as computers, iPads, kindle-like reader devices, tablets, and even smart phones.

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These two sites are known as “video chat” Web sites and can be accessed by anyone with an Internet accessible device.  There is no security or sign up screens to go through and nothing verifies the user’s age.  Anyone can simply go to the site and begin conversing with any random person in the world without supervision or regulation.
Law enforcement agencies in many cities have issued warnings to parents to keep their kids off of these sites.  The Web site boasts that it is a place where meeting strangers is OK but cautions that it is for children 13 and up.  It is becoming more of …

The Number One Resource Your Child Needs to Thrive?

The answer is... YOU!

At my lectures and workshops, I often tell the story of an incident that occurred when I was teaching my parenting class a few years ago.  I gave the class a simple homework assignment to see if they could find a unique and simple way of taking care of themselves that they have never done before.  It had to be something entirely new to them.  When they returned the following week to the 2nd session of the class, I asked the group, “Who did their homework and found a unique and simple way of taking care of themselves over the past week.”  Almost everyone raised a hand but when I asked if anyone would be willing to share it, most of the hands went down. 
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One mom did offer her idea.  She said, “I locked the bathroom door.” This produced laughter and giggles from the other parents, but when she further explained, she said she no longer allowed her young children to come into the bathroom with her, invading her space…

Help! My Kids Won't Stop Fighting!

Parents generally see their children as wonderful gifts from the heavens but children don’t always see each other in that same light.  They first see their primary caregivers, and the love and attention they get from them, as a limited commodity.  They then see their siblings as competition for that love and attention and sometimes feel they have to fight for it. 

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When a new child enters the family, the oldest or older children sometimes feel as if they have been dethroned and now have to share their parents with this new child.  This can bring about feelings of animosity and jealousy between children.   To deal with this problem effectively, parents can find ways that will allow the older child to become a teacher or leader to the younger child(ren).  You can also give the older child special privileges and give them special time with you, such as one-on-one dates to help them feel like they haven’t lost th…

Getting to the Truth of the Matter

I had a house rule that my son was not to hit or throw the ball toward the house. One day I heard the smash of glass and went out to the back yard to find a back bedroom window broken.I also found my son in the back yard with his baseball cap on and his glove on his hand.He proceeded to tell me that a ball had come flying over the fence from a neighbor’s yard and broke the window.I instantly saw this as an opportunity to “practice what I preach” so I remained calm and listened to his story.

Is He Lying to You?: An Ex-CIA Polygraph Examiner Reveals What Men Don't Want You to Know

One thing that parents do in their moment of anger is to attempt to “drill down” to the truth to find out who did what, but it is rarely productive.  Children will naturally go into a defensive mode to protect themselves, especially if their parents instantly get angry in situations like this.  Instead, I just said, “Hmm, looks like we have a broken window here, will you help me out and go retrieve the broom…

What Are You Afraid Of?

What are you afraid of?  Have you ever noticed fears that you may be living with everyday and you’re not sure of its origin?  It is quite possible that these fears originated in your childhood, things you may have experienced when you were young.  These deeply buried fears can affect how you live your life today.  They can influence your decisions, skew the way you see the world at times and you may even be passing them on to your children.

I met a woman in one of my parenting classes who revealed that an intruder broke into her home when she was a child.  The masked man chased her and her mother through the house, subjecting them both to a terrifying event.  Her mother was able to elude the predator and fortunately he ran from the house without hurting the little girl or her mother.  This frightening experience remained with the woman, causing her to live in constant fear of strangers and of being alone.
When I was a child, we moved from an apartment into a small but comfortable home i…