Bill Corbett

I wanted to take my autistic granddaughter to the butterfly botanical garden near us, but I was afraid she would want to touch everything and ruin the visit. Luckily, they have a list of rules at the entrance, and we went over them together. After reading through them a few times and getting her verbal commitment to follow them, I told her that we needed to come up with a "grandpa thing" (a consequence) that would have to happen if either one of us didn't obey the rules. We went back and forth with ideas until we settled (mainly me) on the (Actual picture of my granddaughter) decision that our adventure at the gardens would end. Knowing her very well, in the past, she would agree to the rules at first, but her autism didn't always allow her to maintain the agreement. The one rule I was most concerned with was that everyone must remain on the walkway and not venture into animal and plant life. Along the way, I watched her struggle with wanting to touch plants and butt...

What is this "Creepy-Cute" Collectible All About? Labubu has become a huge hit around the world as a collectible that brings together fashion lovers, collectors, and celebrities. Kasing Lung made this small monster in 2015 for his Monsters art collection, which was based on Nordic mythology. After Hong Kong artist Kasing Lung made Labubu in 2015 for his The Monsters art project, Chinese toy company Pop Mart made a lot of them in blind-box sets. The toy comes in a blind package that hides all of its features. There are more than 300 variations as of the time this article was written. So what's the big deal? 1. The excitement of perhaps acquiring a rare item. Psychologists believe it's like gambling or an obsession, and this makes a dopamine loop. 2. The mix of silky fur and pointed, jagged teeth in "ugly-cute" and edgy styles is quite appealing. 3. A desire that celebrities and social media make people feel. Kids want to stay up with the current trends be...

The child comes home after a sleep over and her mother has this fantasy that her daughter is going to come running in, wrap her arms around her mom and say, “I’m so happy to see you mom, I missed you. Let’s spend some quality time together.” But instead of the scene she imagined, her daughter declares that she’s bored and begins complaining about all the things she doesn’t have that her friend has. Mom does her best to ignore it until the thoughts of how ungrateful her child is and memories of all the money and time she’s spent on her becomes too much. What happens next is the last thing she wanted to have happen, but it does. Mom yells and her daughter yells back. Before too long, the day is wrecked, she sends her daughter to her room and their relationship is strained. And this all transpired because she gave her daughter permission to sleep over a friend’s house for the first time in a long time. So let’s give mom some skills for her to practice and some knowledge that might...

Punishment is a tool designed to make a child "pay for what they did" and to feel bad about the way they acted. The belief is that the bad feeling will stick with them and motivate them to not repeat the behavior or action. But punishment has side effects that can create more problems for the parent then they originally had. For example, making a child feel bad can backfire and motivate them to hide and lie about their mistakes. It can also damage the parent/child relationship. Think back to your own childhood and remember a time when you were punished. How did you feel? How did you feel about yourself at that moment? What did you want to do as a result of the punishment? How did you feel toward the punisher? I've asked these questions numerous times in my workshops and not once did any adult say they felt good about anything in that moment. We now know that making a child feel bad about what they did affects the way they think and feel about them self. ...

If you don't, you should. It is every parent's responsibility to get to know their children's friends, including the parents of those friends. This is especially important if you allow your children to go to their friends' homes to play or hangout. Doing so provides clues as to how safe your child will be in their home and whether there will be positive or negative things that could  influence your children while they're in the care of these other adults. One day, a father dropping off his daughter to play with ours, immediately began backing out of the driveway after his little girl got out of the car. I quickly approached the car to introduce myself and without saying a word, he rolled down the window and just stared at me. I was stunned when he responded in a manner that said, "So what." He reluctantly said his name and quickly drove away. I could not believe that he was dropping his sweet little 9-year-old daughter off at a house he had never be...

I was walking in back of you recently, leaving a local 'big box' retailer in the early evening hours and watched you struggle with your child. She appeared to be about seven or eight years of age and she was refusing to walk with you and kept lagging behind. A few times she even stopped on purpose and it was making you extremely mad. First of all, let me say that I've been in your shoes, having raised three children of my own and helped care for a few grand children as well. It's not easy dragging children along at the end of the day when you're on a tight schedule and feeling rushed, stressed, and tired.  I first want to thank you for not hitting that little girl, although you came awfully close to doing just that, a few times. I could see that she was testing you to your limits and your voice began to increase in volume and tone. I prayed that you didn't hit her when you got into your vehicle or when you got her back home. If I could have offered some ...

I saw a friend the other day and complimented him on his suit. It looked freshly pressed and the creases were sharp. To me, it looked like a brand new suit, but in response to my compliment, he quickly said, “It’s just an old suit that I got out of the back of my closet.” Have you ever given someone a compliment like I did, only to have the other person tell you that she got it off the clearance rack at a local clothing store? How did her reply make you feel in that moment? Did you feel energized to provide more or did you feel a sudden let down that your compliment was a waste of time and not accepted? As a parent, how often do you compliment your child or your teen? What about your significant other? Sometimes it seems like we give more compliments to others than we do to our own family. And what about you; what do you say when someone compliments you or your outfit? Have you noticed that you too provide a response that minimizes the gift you just received? I think we do this...

Father’s Day is almost here and many spouses or partners are probably trying to come up with some unique ideas for helping to make their kids and step kids’ dad feel special this weekend. My own kids will be here for a picnic and my wife will do another fantastic job of orchestrating another great day for me. But there is more to helping a father feel like a great dad than cake, new tools and gourmet burgers on the grill. It requires some relationship techniques that any partner or spouse can master to make any caring father an awesome dad. In turn it will contribute to a stronger and more loving relationship between you and him.  Here are 5 things for turning your husband into a great dad: Praise Him Privately . If you don’t feel that he’s sharing parenting duties with you fairly, it could be that he’s not feeling encouraged enough to step up to the plate. Commit to giving him lots of encouragement away from the kids, even if he makes mistakes. If you notice that he’s not ha...

The parent who sent me this message was seeking help with choosing the right punishment for her teen’s bad choice.  I advised her that punishment rarely works in teaching children valuable lessons and actually can backfire and cause more problems than what the parents started with.  In most cases, the only things that a punishment accomplishes are making the child fearful of the parent and to doing a better job of hiding the misbehavior the next time. A more effective response to a child or teen’s bad choices is a consequence, rather than a punishment.  Consequences help a teen to make smarter choices and are healthier and more respectful forms of discipline.  The consequence can also be selected by both parent and teenager, and should be related directly to the misbehavior.  Over time, using more consequences instead of punishments can actually strengthen the relationship between the parent and the teen.  If this was the first time that you caug...

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles FreeDigitalPhotos.net That was the subject line of the message I received from a bewildered parent.  She and her 6-year-old son arrived home after a quick trip to the discount department store and he produced a die cast car that he was playing with.  She told me that the first thing that came to mind for her was that her son was now a thief and the thought was difficult to bear.  Below are the steps I outlined in my reply to her on how to handle the situation. REMAIN CALM .  This is probably the most important tip of all.  A parent’s disposition in a situation can help or hinder a child from learning from the circumstances at hand.  Avoid thinking that your child is a thief and certainly don’t label him.  Do whatever you have to do to muster up the stance that it’s not the end of the world and everything will turn out fine. RETURN TO THE STORE WITH YOUR CHILD .  Do what you can to put dinner on hold, or ...

This is for all the parents who set out NOT to spank their children, but end up doing it anyway; you are NOT bad parents, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do.  I believe you may get frustrated to the point of using it to gain the child’s attention or as an attempt to stop challenging behaviors immediately.  I can say that I've been in your shoes!  I raised 3 children of my own and often felt myself get to the point of having the urge to spank.  So I feel for parents and know how hard it is when our children push our patience to the upper limits. (Photograph courtesy of David Castillo Dominici and freedigitalphotos.net) I was the oldest of eight children and took notice of my parent’s anger and how it would provoke them to the point of spanking, and they did.  I remember having the sense that one or both of them would be bothered by something outside of my control and then I would do something that kids do and it would push them to th...

It’s like a drug, they can’t get enough.  They’ll mysteriously forget about homework assignments just to get it.  They’ll fight you tooth and nail not to lose it.  It’s one of the biggest issues that reduces cooperation for many parents and if they could, they would pass up sleep and food just to have more of it.  What I’m talking about is entertainment media for children, and it is highly addictive.  It’s also referred to as SCREEN TIME and it exists in the form of video games, television shows, computer usage and the Internet, and it must be controlled, supervised and allowed in moderation.  If parents would just understand and implement this, they would get a bonus of more cooperation from their children.  Chores would be done as planned and homework would be completed as agreed. I was hired as a parent coach by a family recently.  At our first meeting, they listed the top five challenges they were experiencing with their oldest child....

Just in time for V alentine’s Day , here are 8 tips you can use, one each day leading up to the big day, for demonstrating love to your children.    Using a family meeting, have everyone create a craft project that represents love to them.   Provide a wide selection of construction paper and craft supplies and allow your children to create whatever comes to mind.   Put the creations on display for everyone to see and enjoy, and photograph them to look at for many years to come. Compose a poem about your child or describing how much you love her. Print it off on special preprinted paper with a border that can be purchased at office supply stores. Frame it and hang it on your child’s bedroom wall. You could even include the child’s picture or her foot or handprints if you had them done earlier. Sign it and read it to her nightly. Have a movie night with your kids, complete with big pillows to snuggle up with and a big bowl of popcorn. The one...