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Showing posts from June, 2011

When Preschoolers and Toddlers Hit

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Hitting for this development phase is normal.  So, what things are you doing to help the preschooler feel like the special "big brother" that he is? He should have special responsibilities WITH his little brother to redirect feelings of resentment; reading him stories, helping with his bath, being in charge of the diaper bag when you travel, etc. The more you make him feel special, the less likley he is to annoy and make his brother cry. Also, sometimes, the feeling of having been "dethroned" by a younger sibling builds feelings of resentment toward the parent and the child can transfer that resentment to the sibling. As far as removal, it is OK to remove the toddler if the preschooler hits or hurts him. The consequence is that he loses the opportunity to play with this brother if he behaves badly. Be sure the the preschooler has his own space to play, to address any feelings he may have that his sibling is invading his space. Make sure you are reinforceing positiv…

What to do if Your Ex is Parenting Differently Than You

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My wife and I noticed immediately how differently her teenage daughter behaves and treats us when she returns from a visit with her father.  Oftentimes she is rude, abrasive, and immediately begins to complain about how our rules are stupid and how we are controlling her life.  And why shouldn't she when her father has no rules.  He shows up a couple of times a year to buy her favorite treats and give her gifts or money.  Such is the case for so many parents whose children go to another parent's home for visitation.  Some parents get similar behaviors from their children when they just go to a grandparent's home when discipline is handled differently.  This is one of the frustrating challenges of the modern society... everyone doesn't parent the same.  The times have changed and the ownership falls on the engaged parent to react in certain ways to the annoying behaviors we get when our child returns from a visit.  Download my READY-TO-PRINT article HERE as a handout to…

Do you want to be RIGHT, or CLOSE?

Catch yourself just before you're about to say something to your child, spouse, significant other, or anyone, and ask yourself, "is what I'm about to say going to bring me closer to that person, or make me right?" When it is our time to leave this world and face the greater power that created us, I doubt we will be judged on the number of times we were right, and instead, the strength of our relationships.