Skip to main content

Why is Parenting More Difficult Today?

The PARENTING STYLE of yester year was autocratic. The object was to control the child and that made it easier to parent. The autocratic parenting style is used by less families today due to social changes in this country that honor and nurture the human spirit. It has also come about by an explosion in the varying number of books and opinions published by differing methodologies and psychologists. Parents are confused as to how to raise children and many are just throwing their arms up in frustration and guessing their way through a very critical and difficult job. This is exactly what led me to get my psychology degrees, write my books, and develop my organization to help parents; Cooperative Kids.


TECHNOLOGY and SOCIAL MEDIA has changed drastically over the years and today, parents must stay up on the latest technology to know what to allow their child to have and use, and how to keep them safe secure from predators and their peers. Children today with cell phones, Facebook and the Internet are not safe and suffer from a "modern day" vulnerability that did not exist when we were children. Bullying for us ended at 3:15 when we arrived home. Because of technology and social media, bullying can now occur on a wider basis and 24 hours a day.

The ENTERTAINMENT AND ADVERTISING INDUSTRIES no longer have the best interest of the family and the child in mind and are leaving the policing to the parents. The problem is that the parents are over worked, stressed, and tired, and cannot be the catch-all to keep their kids safe from the free-flowing inappropriate material being pumped into the homes through the Internet and the television channels. Children are seeing television shows like Jersey Shore and The Bad Girls and begin believing that this type of inappropriate behavior is OK. So many parents are giving up the fight. In fact, entertainment moguls are targeting our children at incredibly early ages to "sign them on" as consumers. The entertainment industry has removed child safety from their products and services. The movie/television rating system has been down graded, more adult-related subjects and shows are being shown on televisions at earlier hours, game systems are making inappropriate video games for kids to play, music is easier to download to ipods and much of it is inappropriate for children and young teens.

The PRESSURE TO BE A SMART (AND STRONG) PARENT is very challenging, especially when it appears to many parents that "everyone else" is becoming more lenient and letting their children watch inappropriate television and have the latest unguarded technology and gadgets. This added to what some call the "new age of parenting" has parents caving to their children's requests (or demands) because, as they say in the defeatist mode, "they are going to see it somewhere." It is cute when a parent gives an 8 year old a cell phone, but when they begin sexting at age 13, it is too late to take the phone away. Many single parents are afraid of their child's rages at removing cell phones and Facebook accounts, afraid they will hear the dreaded words, "I'm going to live with my dad (or mom) because he lets me have a phone." It then becomes just easier to give in and hope for the best.

Comments

  1. alizybethJune 2, 2018 at 1:17 PM

    the path to making a child securely attached. At best, these techniques can be thought of as nice supplements to helping your child develop a close, secure emotional bond to you. best double stroller

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. One of those programs that frequently offers misguided information and gimmicks...
6 comments
Read more

When Your Child Says "I HATE YOU!"... They are Really Just Mad

You've done so much for them, slaved for them, and sacrificed for them, and then if you don't give them what they want, they get mad at you. It hardly seems fair, all the things we do for our kids and they don't appreciate it. Then we hear them say things like, "I hate you," or "I hate this house." We hear, "You're a mean mom," or "I'm mad at you!" It's common for kids to get mad at their parents but the solution is the hardest for parents to do... just let them be mad. Effective parents learn quickly that they are not their child's friend; they are their parents. But if the parents aren't prepared to hear it and know how to respond, they get defensive or they get even. Worse, they give in to regain the love the child is withholding. I was in the toy section of a department store one day, shopping for a gift for my grandson. A mom and her little boy were in the same aisle, and the little boy, about seven, was admir...
Post a Comment
Read more

Why Some Parents Spank

This is for all the parents who set out NOT to spank their children, but end up doing it anyway; you are NOT bad parents, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do.  I believe you may get frustrated to the point of using it to gain the child’s attention or as an attempt to stop challenging behaviors immediately.  I can say that I've been in your shoes!  I raised 3 children of my own and often felt myself get to the point of having the urge to spank.  So I feel for parents and know how hard it is when our children push our patience to the upper limits. (Photograph courtesy of David Castillo Dominici and freedigitalphotos.net) I was the oldest of eight children and took notice of my parent’s anger and how it would provoke them to the point of spanking, and they did.  I remember having the sense that one or both of them would be bothered by something outside of my control and then I would do something that kids do and it would push them to th...
Post a Comment
Read more