Skip to main content

Six Things to do When Bending Rules in Parenting

There's a great story circulating on the Web right now where a Porsche 911 owner in San Francisco wasn't interested in abiding by a set of traffic construction rules and as a result, he drove is beautiful sports car straight into wet concrete.  I watched a similar incident many years ago while stopped at an intersection.  A guy driving a souped up truck, with huge mudder tires and way up off the ground grew impatient and drove up on the sidewalk to pass the line of traffic.  As he neared the intersection and was about to turn onto the main cross street, he drove over the stub of what was once a sign post and blew out his tire.  The embarrassment for these two drivers alone was the natural consequence of not following rules.


There is a varying level of risk one must accept when bending rules in society.  Rules are intended to keep everything fair and everyone safe, and for efficiency.  They are put in place for a reason.  So where am I going with this?  Reading this article this morning reminded me that the same goes for parenting; good parents put rules in place and reinforce them.  But some situations will arise in parenting when it might be a good thing to bend a rule for the benefit of a situation or even your relationship with your child.  Where many parents fail is in re-implementing the rules after the temporary bend.


If you're going to bend a rule now and then with your child, do the following six things:

  • Announce the rule break as an official temporary change
  • If necessary, document the rule AND the breakage
  • Tell your child when it will go back into effect
  • Be calm when your child tries to get you to break it again
  • Let your child know that asking for rule breaks is OK
  • If your child screams or throws a fit, calmly walk away
The way you react to your child's requests for rule breaks is key to building a strong parent/child relationship.  She will love occasional rule breaks and will grow to respect you even more by the way you handle her requests or her fits.


Watch my TV show at http://www.TheParentingShow.tv

Comments

Post a Comment

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

About Me

My photo
Bill Corbett
Bill Corbett is a nationally recognized parent educator, author, and speaker known for his practical and compassionate approach to raising children. He has helped countless parents, caregivers, and professionals better understand child behavior and discipline through his workshops, seminars, books, and media appearances. As the creator of the "Love, Limits & Lessons" parenting program, Corbett emphasizes respectful and effective communication, age-appropriate expectations, and the importance of emotional connection in child-rearing. His work is grounded in positive discipline strategies that foster cooperation and confidence in both children and parents.

Popular posts from this blog

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. HOW TO STOP KIDS' BEGGING FOR TOYS One of those programs that frequently offers...
6 comments
Read more

When Your Child Says "I HATE YOU!"... They are Really Just Mad

You've done so much for them, slaved for them, and sacrificed for them, and then if you don't give them what they want, they get mad at you. It hardly seems fair, all the things we do for our kids and they don't appreciate it. Then we hear them say things like, "I hate you," or "I hate this house." We hear, "You're a mean mom," or "I'm mad at you!" It's common for kids to get mad at their parents but the solution is the hardest for parents to do... just let them be mad. Effective parents learn quickly that they are not their child's friend; they are their parents. But if the parents aren't prepared to hear it and know how to respond, they get defensive or they get even. Worse, they give in to regain the love the child is withholding. I was in the toy section of a department store one day, shopping for a gift for my grandson. A mom and her little boy were in the same aisle, and the little boy, about seven, was admir...
Post a Comment
Read more

When A Child Behaves Like a Cat (or Other Characters)

Children experimenting as an animal is absolutely normal. They do it because they are simply exploring or perhaps, to gain some attention. Parents should allow their children to behave like a cat at home and you as the parent, simply ignore it. If your child answers you with a meow, you can simply tell them, "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. I will listen to you when you speak like a little girl." Then just walk away. If your child enters an activity at home meowing like a cat, for example coming to the dinner table. Just calmly tell her that only people can eat at the table and when she returns to being a little girl, she will get food and the rest of the family will speak to her and listen to her again. In other words, don't try to control your child when they are in one of these exploring modes. Let it be and get involved when she tries to participate in the family. Do not meow back at her, do not crawl around on all fours with her and don'...
Post a Comment
Read more