Tips for Step Families

When step families are created, a bond between the step child and the step parent is not automatic. The child may go through a “honeymoon” phase and then a “rejection” phase before any sort of bond takes place. In order to get the child past the rejection phase successfully, the step parent should avoid being the disciplinarian, give the child plenty of space, and focus on connecting with the child in creative ways.

I can relate to this situation, as I am a step dad to a teenage girl and two grown boys.  When I first came into the picture, I made the commitment that I would not be the disciplinarian and instead, simply provide support to my new wife.  Of course, I would voice my concerns and opinions but I would do it privately to my wife.  It was more important that I build my relationship with my new 8-year-old step daughter, especially since her biological dad was somewhat in her life.  After about a year of bonding instead of disciplining, I had developed a relationship with her that allowed me to ease into providing more discipline.  Because of that, I am enjoying a wonderful relationship with that now 14-year-old beautiful girl who refers to me to her friends as her parent!


Get more parenting help at these links:

FACEBOOK:  http://www.facebook.com/Cooperativekids
FACEBOOK:  http://www.facebook.com/billcorbettauthor
TWITTER:   http://www.twitter.com/billcorbett99
YOUTUBE:   http://www.youtube.com/user/billcorbett100
ITUNES:    http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/bill-corbetts-creating-cooperative/id459919165
LINKEDIN:  http://www.linkedin.com/in/billcorbettauthor
GOOGLE+:   https://plus.google.com/u/0/107647940145461851649
PINTEREST: http://pinterest.com/billcorbett
WEB SITE:  http://www.CooperativeKids.com
TV SHOW:   http://www.TheParentingShow.tv

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Image
Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. One of those programs that frequently offers misguided information and gimmicks is the Love and Lo
Read more

DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD

Image
14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD – Compose a poem about your child or describing how much you love her. Print if off on special preprinted paper with a border that can be purchased at office supply stores. Frame it and hang it on your child’s bedroom wall. You could even include the child’s picture or her foot or handprints if you had them done earlier. Sign it and read it to her nightly.
Read more

Why Some Parents Spank

Image
This is for all the parents who set out NOT to spank their children, but end up doing it anyway; you are NOT bad parents, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do.  I believe you may get frustrated to the point of using it to gain the child’s attention or as an attempt to stop challenging behaviors immediately.  I can say that I've been in your shoes!  I raised 3 children of my own and often felt myself get to the point of having the urge to spank.  So I feel for parents and know how hard it is when our children push our patience to the upper limits. (Photograph courtesy of David Castillo Dominici and freedigitalphotos.net) I was the oldest of eight children and took notice of my parent’s anger and how it would provoke them to the point of spanking, and they did.  I remember having the sense that one or both of them would be bothered by something outside of my control and then I would do something that kids do and it would push them to their breaking point.  I would g
Read more