The One Best Gift You Could Ever Give
It’s nearly Christmas and I’m shopping at a department
store. A woman in the isle just ahead of
me is pushing her shopping cart and begging her daughter to cooperate with
her. The little girl appears to be about
four or five years of age and is dragging her feet and whining that she’s too
tired to walk. Her mom looks very tired
and continues to plead with the child to keep moving. Suddenly the little girl collapses on the
floor and mom seems to be on the verge of ‘losing it.’ The woman picks up her daughter swiftly and
sets her in the carriage.
Once placed in the carriage, the little girl begins kicking
her feet and the crying begins. Soon,
she’s demanding to get out of the carriage and her mom is doing everything in
her power to hold back her anger. In that moment, I felt so bad for both of
them and wished there was something I could do to help. Both mom and daughter are probably feeling
the stress of shopping, the holidays and who knows what else.
I was a parent three times over and know exactly what that
situation feels like. In situations when
my children were small, I remember feeling stress from three things: the
complexity of our family schedule that the holidays brought on, the fear that I
may not have enough money (or credit) to pay for all the gifts I wanted to buy,
and the conflict brought on when the magic I was trying to create for my
children from my own childhood, didn’t manifest itself to my satisfaction.
My children are all grown now and living productive
lives. One of them gave me my two
grandchildren and I love seeing them get very excited about Christmas. Their mom has done a great job of making it
happen. But if I could go back in time and
do anything different, it would be to put more emphasis on being the person
that I wanted them to become, rather than trying to make everything so perfect.
Believe it or not, my story that I started this article with
actually ended well. You see, the mother
did a wonderful thing in that heated moment; she did not yell, she did not
scold the little girl, and she did not ‘lose it.’ The woman reached into the carriage and
picked up her sobbing daughter without saying a word. She held her close to her chest and sat down
on a sturdy display shelf. For a few
moments, they just remained there, ignoring any of the people milling past
them. The little girl cried on her mom’s
shoulders and the woman remained silent as she gently rocked back and forth.
If you ever find yourself ready to ‘lose it’ with your child
because you’re feeling tired or stressed, or because things just aren't turning
out as you had envisioned, stop and take a deep breath before you act or
speak. See your child as just a child
and forgive him or her, then forgive yourself.
Acknowledge the stress you may be feeling from the season or other
factors, and hold your child a little closer.
Give your child the powerful gift of seeing what unconditional love
looks and feels like.
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