Parents Have Lost Their Spines and Kids Are Ruling the Roost!

That's what one adult wrote in an online forum about the condition of parenting today, that "parents have lost their spine and kids now rule the roost." He went on to say, "The world is falling apart and it's all starting in the home. Gone are the days when parents were in charge and children knew their place. Parents no longer get the respect they deserve and kids aren't made to show it. What happened to the good 'ole days when parents had spines and kids behaved? The world didn't need parent educators back then; parents knew what to do and they did it."

 He's right that parenting has changed and to those who don't understand why, it probably does appear as if the world revolves around the child now. I don't agree that it really does, but I will agree that we do treat children differently these days then our parents and grandparents did. As in anything that requires developing skills, parenting requires new skills and knowledge that didn't exist back then. Therefore, the need for coaches to work with parents satisfies a need for those who are willing to seek out professional help.

 So what changed? Many things actually, but two primary
things for the benefit of this article are that we value and know more about the human spirit and, the world stopped using punitive discipline as a parenting tool. Back 20, 30 years or more, there was very little general knowledge about and acceptance of the human spirit and the power it has to change lives, bring dreams to reality, and empower the law of free will. It is said that the human spirit consists of intellect, fears, emotions, passion, and creativity.

 Many adults today realize the conditions of having been raised in the older, autocratic environments that existed in families, workplaces and organizations back then. They were not able to use their intellect, they were controlled by fear, their emotions were suppressed by others, they were not allowed to realize and follow the passion they felt, and their creativity was snuffed out if those in power didn't agree with or feel it had any value. So many adults raising children today, don't want their children to have that same experience and instead, want their children's spirit to flourish, blossom and grow.
The other primary thing that has changed over the years is that the world has acknowledged the harm caused by punitive discipline and the effect it can have on children (and adults as well), and their spirits. Therefore, any forms of it have been avoided, replaced, and even banished in some countries. So when spanking and other forms of punishment were removed from the toolbox of acceptable forms of child rearing, it resulted in an increase in tantrums, backtalk, defiance, and other such responses to limits and boundaries.

 Parents who don't use punitive discipline haven't lost their spine, they simply understand the important role the spirit will play in helping their children realize their passion, follow their dreams, and live a happier life. But if they don't seek out help from books, parenting classes or a parent coach when implementing positive parenting techniques and managing challenging behaviors, it could feel like and appear as if, their children are ruling the roost. Don't leave your parenting to chance, get the help you need to raise resilient kids and a strong family.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Image
Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. One of those programs that frequently offers misguided information and gimmicks...
Read more

When Your Child Says "I HATE YOU!"... They are Really Just Mad

Image
You've done so much for them, slaved for them, and sacrificed for them, and then if you don't give them what they want, they get mad at you. It hardly seems fair, all the things we do for our kids and they don't appreciate it. Then we hear them say things like, "I hate you," or "I hate this house." We hear, "You're a mean mom," or "I'm mad at you!" It's common for kids to get mad at their parents but the solution is the hardest for parents to do... just let them be mad. Effective parents learn quickly that they are not their child's friend; they are their parents. But if the parents aren't prepared to hear it and know how to respond, they get defensive or they get even. Worse, they give in to regain the love the child is withholding. I was in the toy section of a department store one day, shopping for a gift for my grandson. A mom and her little boy were in the same aisle, and the little boy, about seven, was admir...
Read more

Why Some Parents Spank

Image
This is for all the parents who set out NOT to spank their children, but end up doing it anyway; you are NOT bad parents, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do.  I believe you may get frustrated to the point of using it to gain the child’s attention or as an attempt to stop challenging behaviors immediately.  I can say that I've been in your shoes!  I raised 3 children of my own and often felt myself get to the point of having the urge to spank.  So I feel for parents and know how hard it is when our children push our patience to the upper limits. (Photograph courtesy of David Castillo Dominici and freedigitalphotos.net) I was the oldest of eight children and took notice of my parent’s anger and how it would provoke them to the point of spanking, and they did.  I remember having the sense that one or both of them would be bothered by something outside of my control and then I would do something that kids do and it would push them to th...
Read more