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Parents Have Lost Their Spines and Kids Are Ruling the Roost!

That's what one adult wrote in an online forum about the condition of parenting today, that "parents have lost their spine and kids now rule the roost." He went on to say, "The world is falling apart and it's all starting in the home. Gone are the days when parents were in charge and children knew their place. Parents no longer get the respect they deserve and kids aren't made to show it. What happened to the good 'ole days when parents had spines and kids behaved? The world didn't need parent educators back then; parents knew what to do and they did it."

 He's right that parenting has changed and to those who don't understand why, it probably does appear as if the world revolves around the child now. I don't agree that it really does, but I will agree that we do treat children differently these days then our parents and grandparents did. As in anything that requires developing skills, parenting requires new skills and knowledge that didn't exist back then. Therefore, the need for coaches to work with parents satisfies a need for those who are willing to seek out professional help.

 So what changed? Many things actually, but two primary
things for the benefit of this article are that we value and know more about the human spirit and, the world stopped using punitive discipline as a parenting tool. Back 20, 30 years or more, there was very little general knowledge about and acceptance of the human spirit and the power it has to change lives, bring dreams to reality, and empower the law of free will. It is said that the human spirit consists of intellect, fears, emotions, passion, and creativity.

 Many adults today realize the conditions of having been raised in the older, autocratic environments that existed in families, workplaces and organizations back then. They were not able to use their intellect, they were controlled by fear, their emotions were suppressed by others, they were not allowed to realize and follow the passion they felt, and their creativity was snuffed out if those in power didn't agree with or feel it had any value. So many adults raising children today, don't want their children to have that same experience and instead, want their children's spirit to flourish, blossom and grow.
The other primary thing that has changed over the years is that the world has acknowledged the harm caused by punitive discipline and the effect it can have on children (and adults as well), and their spirits. Therefore, any forms of it have been avoided, replaced, and even banished in some countries. So when spanking and other forms of punishment were removed from the toolbox of acceptable forms of child rearing, it resulted in an increase in tantrums, backtalk, defiance, and other such responses to limits and boundaries.

 Parents who don't use punitive discipline haven't lost their spine, they simply understand the important role the spirit will play in helping their children realize their passion, follow their dreams, and live a happier life. But if they don't seek out help from books, parenting classes or a parent coach when implementing positive parenting techniques and managing challenging behaviors, it could feel like and appear as if, their children are ruling the roost. Don't leave your parenting to chance, get the help you need to raise resilient kids and a strong family.

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Bill Corbett
Bill Corbett is a nationally recognized parent educator, author, and speaker known for his practical and compassionate approach to raising children. He has helped countless parents, caregivers, and professionals better understand child behavior and discipline through his workshops, seminars, books, and media appearances. As the creator of the "Love, Limits & Lessons" parenting program, Corbett emphasizes respectful and effective communication, age-appropriate expectations, and the importance of emotional connection in child-rearing. His work is grounded in positive discipline strategies that foster cooperation and confidence in both children and parents.

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