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She Told Me I'd Never Amount to Anything... Here's What Happened Next!

An image stating that Setbacks aren't the end - they're the spark
This post is going to deviate from my usual topics that I write about, so I hope my regular readers will bear with me. It's a post you may want to read if you've accepted the wrong job offer. While working on my autobiography, I remembered an excruciating experience as a twenty-something new to the workforce, following my military service. It was an experience that many would have trouble believing, or at the very least, would certainly hope that it couldn't happen in today's workforce. Then I remembered my friend and author, Jeff Davis, who recently released his book THE COURAGE TO LEAVE: BREAKING FREE FROM TOXIC WORKPLACES. I thought to myself, I need to tell him that I've got a doozy for him for his next edition. Believe it or not, here's what took place.

One of my first jobs after my tour in the service was working in the IT department at a 100-year-old company. It was located in a mid-sized city in New England, and I had been hired into an entry-level position in an all-female department. After my first couple of weeks, the atmosphere started to change. I began to feel very unwelcome at work and couldn't help but notice that everyone was acting unfriendly to me. Based on conversations I overheard, it became apparent that men were not liked. As a result, I kept a low profile and focused entirely on learning my job. Even though most members of the team were married to men, comments were constantly made that were degrading in nature to men.

A graphic depicting the slogan She told me I'd never amount to anything - I proved her wrong
After the first six months of employment, it was apparent to me that I had made a mistake taking this
job. It reached the point where I hated coming to work each day and had to contend with constant scolding and negative remarks from my supervisor. And when I made a mistake or caused an error in my work, I figuratively had to duck for cover! She would scold and berate me and yell. Sometimes she would even say, "You'll never amount to anything." After spending six years getting yelled at first in boot camp and then in the Air Force, I grew accustomed to this kind of treatment. But I never realized I would experience this kind of workplace abuse in the civilian world.

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I knew the way I was being treated wasn't right, but I just kept to myself and did the best I could. Then one Friday, she took great joy in exercising her power. It was the Friday before I was to begin a week's vacation with my wife and kids. We had a week-long reservation starting that Saturday night at a campground up north. At around 4 p.m., I walked into the room where she was sitting, gabbing with all the rest of the team. As I approached the time clock to punch out, she informed me that she was revoking my vacation request, stating it was because the department was short-staffed for the upcoming week. She said she expected me to be at work on Monday morning. As I left the room, I was in disbelief as I overheard her telling the group that she felt good doing her part to keep men from getting what they wanted.

A graphic depicting the phrase toxic jobs can break you or build you

The following week, back at work instead of off on vacation with my young family, I booked an appointment with the president of the company. The president was a man, and I thought I might get some support from him after revealing how I was being treated. What I did not know at the time was that he was good friends with my supervisor, and he would dismiss any of my complaints.

So he listened quietly as I related what was happening, and at the conclusion of our meeting, he suggested that perhaps I was just a bit too sensitive to work on that team. He then pleasantly thanked me for my time and walked me to the door, telling me to see him anytime and that his door was always open. I thought that was the end until two weeks later, when my boss scolded me for taking my complaint to the president. She warned me never to do that again or there would be consequences.

A friend told me that what I was experiencing was discrimination and that it might be against the law. He suggested that I consult a lawyer to determine if I had a case against my employer. The lawyer I called seemed very intrigued by my situation and invited me to meet him for dinner at a restaurant for the free initial consultation. I was excited over his level of interest and couldn't wait to meet with him. I may finally have some leverage in getting some relief from an awful work situation that I couldn't stand. So at dinner, I related to him all of the incidents of the mistreatment by my supervisor, the frequent anti-male comments from female team members, and even my meeting with the president. I was ready for some recourse!

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A picture of two men conducting business over dinner in a fine restaurant
After sitting quietly and taking lots of notes, he closed his portfolio and cleared his throat. My stomach
dropped when he said, "I have bad news for you. It's 1982, and discrimination suits filed by men are rare and typically unsuccessful. He said, "Trust me, you do not want to see your name on the front page of the newspaper, going up against an established 100-year-old company." He told me that even though my situation had all the hallmarks of a discrimination case, I would lose. He advised me to forget about it and told me to go find another job. I drove home feeling complete despair.

I went back to work and quietly began seeking other employment. The lawyer's advice paid off, and I landed a terrific job paying almost three times what I was making at the other company. After my first year, I knew my career was off to a great start, as I was promoted to a junior leadership position. The company posted a press release about my promotion in the area's largest newspaper. I clipped it out and sent it in an envelope to my former supervisor, along with a note stating that I DID finally amount to something. I also thanked her for showing me how NOT to treat staff when you want them to perform at their best.

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A photo of Bill Corbett wearing headphones and speaking into a microphone
Bill Corbett is an accomplished author, speaker, and media producer whose career reflects both creativity and resilience. The author of eight books, including the best-selling From the Soapbox to the Stage: How to Use Your Passion to Get Paid to Speak, Bill has inspired audiences worldwide with lectures and classes on compassionate parenting and entrepreneurship. He has delivered international keynotes, including the opening address at a Dutch conference on behavior issues in Amsterdam, The Netherlands.

An action photo of a car wrecking havock in a demolition derby
In addition to writing, he produced and hosted a public access television show and founded his own publishing company, giving a platform to fresh voices and important conversations. Recognized for his excellence in communication and leadership, he earned the Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) designation, Toastmasters International’s highest level of certification.

Blending professional achievement with a spirit of adventure, Bill Corbett even took home a demolition
derby victory many years ago—driving #94, a 1975 Buick LaSabre. His diverse experiences embody both passion and determination, leaving a lasting impression on every stage, page, and arena he enters. Learn more about his work at http://BillCorbett.com and Listen to his podcast Creating Cooperative Kids where ever you download your music.

Comments

  1. This is so powerful and insightful because it shows that the discrimination (and/or any kind of related harassment) can happen in any way/direction. Very relatable story as well. I'm sorry you experienced this. Even though it happens a lot, it doesn't make it any easier, and what you described is not only brutal, but as you pointed out, illegal. Thank you for mentioning/linking to my book and for keeping the conversation going.

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Bill Corbett
Bill Corbett is a nationally recognized parent educator, author, and speaker known for his practical and compassionate approach to raising children. He has helped countless parents, caregivers, and professionals better understand child behavior and discipline through his workshops, seminars, books, and media appearances. As the creator of the "Love, Limits & Lessons" parenting program, Corbett emphasizes respectful and effective communication, age-appropriate expectations, and the importance of emotional connection in child-rearing. His work is grounded in positive discipline strategies that foster cooperation and confidence in both children and parents.

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