Bill Corbett

As some of you know, I was running a contest for anyone willing to sign up to join this blog, and giving away timers, t-shirts, and books. My latest contest ended yesterday and I just drew the winners.  The Timer goes to Bron Mitchell, the T-shirt goes to Paula Comeau, and the book goes to Cathy.  If you're one of these folks, email me at bill@cooperativekids.com and provide me with a mailing address.  Thank you all for joining and be watching for more subscriber giveaways. If you want some free help with managing your children's behavior, or help for someone else, stop on over at my Web site http://www.cooperativekids.com/ and see a new Quick Solutions edocument that you can download for free. This new document asks you 4 important questions to help you come up with solutions for effective parenting.  Keep in touch and let me know how I can help you.

One day in 1994, my 9-year-old daughter called me at my office to tell me that she had left her lunch money at home again and needed me to bring it to her. This typical forgetfulness by my children was quite annoying but something I thought I was supposed to resolve as a father. On my ride to the school, I couldn’t help but think about the inconvenience. More importantly, I suddenly became concerned about how irresponsible my daughter would eventually be as an adult if I was constantly remembering for her or rescuing her. That evening, I gathered my three children for an impromptu family meeting to discuss a few changes that would take effect immediately. I announced that from now on, they were solely responsible for remembering to bring with them any items they needed for school that day — lunch money, homework, and school projects. I advised them that unless it was required for health and safety reasons, I was no longer willing to run home and retrieve what they left behind. My respo...

If you’re seeing instances of your child getting pushed around by other children, does this mean that he may easily fall victim to bullies in the play yard? If it is your child doing the pushing and hitting, could she become the bully in later years? Experts agree that the traits children demonstrate during the “terrific two” period (18 months to 6 years) reveal some of the characteristics the child could possess as they grow up. Adults have the power to change some of the social interaction traits they see in their children with simple techniques for these formative years. Visual schedules for young children.  See them at:  SchKIDules 1. Provide good examples Be sure that conflict resolution in relationships the child is exposed to, are healthy and positive examples she can learn from. The adults in a child's life are living, breathing models. It’s OK for adults to have respectful disagreements with other adults in front of the children, just be sure they see the fol...

Have you ever seen or experienced this scenario: you (or another parent) arrive home from a grocery shopping trip and walk in with arms full of over stuffed bags. You see your older kids intently focused on a video game or a television show and shout out, "Please give me a hand and bring in some grocery bags from the car." Your plea for help seems to fall on deaf ears and if you are successful at getting any of them to move, they drag themselves out to the car and walk in with one bag, place it on the table, and return to the video screen. Resentment then rises from the pit of your stomach because of all the things you do for them (like buy them video games or 42" plasma screens to watch them on) and you storm into the room where they are playing and either use the guilt parenting tool or you shut off the screen and yell (or just walk out).  Want to change that scenario from playing out any further? Read this FAMILY GOES STRONG blog post with helpful tips f...

A mom recently told me she had been using praise to motivate her three-year-old daughter to stay dry through the night. If the little girl awoke each morning with a dry diaper, her mom would praise her. One particular morning the child apparently took off her diaper and brought it to her mom to show the great results and receive her praise. But later that morning, mom found the REAL diaper that was worn that night–hidden in the child’s bedroom and wet! I don’t normally support praise, although the exception can be when working with toddlers and preschoolers. Praise can be effective when teaching something new that may be difficult for very young children to master. Praise can give them confidence and motivate them to cooperate with you. The acceptable form of praise in these cases is in expressing delight for your child’s accomplishment but avoiding labeling them as a good boy or girl. Adults must be cautious because the side effects of this praise can be motivation to do whatever i...

Timeout doesn’t work as it is used in many families because it is being used as punishment and not as it was originally designed. Timeout should actually be a method for teaching a child how to control himself or herself, and should only be used when a child is out of control and NOT for any other situations. When timeout is used as punishment the child does not learn lessons of any value, and instead picks up unhealthy messages that he or she is a bad child and less than whole. Sticking a child in timeout simply serves as a way for the adult to control a child or get even, and gives the caregiver a sense of satisfaction or revenge for what the child did. WHAT IT SHOULD BE Timeout was designed to be used effectively only when a child is out of control and must be removed from a situation so as to regain some self-control and calm down. In this out of control state, some sort of emotional “thunderstorm” has blown in for the child. He may be getting angry and be unable to understand ...

Our children today have little concept of money. They see us pull out “the card” for most of our purchases or drive up to the automated teller machine and press a few buttons to access what they think is an endless supply of cash. And when they see us purchasing luxuries such as a 42” plasma screen, the latest fancy cell phone, or a GPS for the car, they don’t understand why we won’t buy them the latest toy they want. For a moment, imagine this scene: an adult and child are in a store and the adult tells the child “no” to a purchase he wants. The child then throws himself on the floor in a fit because mom won’t buy him the toy. Mom then becomes upset because she begins to feel resentful that her child doesn’t seem to appreciate all that she’s done for him or purchased for him up to this point. In the back of her mind she is thinking about all she’s purchased in spite of the fact that she struggles to get by with the little money she brings in each month on her own. Her feeling of resen...