Bill Corbett

When preschoolers and younger school aged children see images of or experience disasters and large scale storms, it can really frighten them. They live in a world somewhere between reality and fantasy and often have difficulty telling the difference between the two. They also have not yet developed their full understanding of mortality or whether something on television is far away or close by. I was asked this same question following the Columbine school shooting in 1999, the World Trade Center attack in 2001, and the Tsunami or 2005. Here are some guidelines for raising children when something bad happens in the world. Limit their exposure to televised news reports on the occurrence. This is a good time to fall back on effectively managing their access to the television by limiting the amount of time they watch it. If you have to watch it yourself, coordinate it so that they are involved in another activity at that time. There are numerous university studies that reveal the high a...

I recently received an email from a parent with a question regarding her teenaged son. She expressed her frustration over the fact that she couldn't get him to come out of his room and get involved in some productive summer-time activites.  He seemed to be unmotivated at doing anything and if she asked him to complete a chore, he would acknowledge the request but not follow through and do it.  Follow this LINK to read the full ready-to-print article and see a related video.

Those of you who follow my blog know that my wife and I are raising a teenager. My step daughter Olivia is now 13 and she is both a joy and a challenge to have. More importantly, she is putting my parenting skills to the test, skills I get to use every day. My wife and I were having a discussion today about some errands we were going to run. During our coordination, Olivia shouted from her room that she wanted to see the new movie Transformers 3. I was delighted because she isn’t a real big fan of going to the movies and I was interested in seeing it myself. After a few more minutes of discussing our plans, I threw in that we could all go to see the movie in about an hour or so. My wife agreed and I walked to the door to Olivia’s room to find out how soon she could be ready to go. Standing in front of her closed (and usually locked) door, I called out her name to get her attention. The sharp response of “What?” told me that she was most likely in her usual position in her room; si...

Hitting for this development phase is normal.  So, what things are you doing to help the preschooler feel like the special "big brother" that he is? He should have special responsibilities WITH his little brother to redirect feelings of resentment; reading him stories, helping with his bath, being in charge of the diaper bag when you travel, etc. The more you make him feel special, the less likley he is to annoy and make his brother cry. Also, sometimes, the feeling of having been "dethroned" by a younger sibling builds feelings of resentment toward the parent and the child can transfer that resentment to the sibling. As far as removal, it is OK to remove the toddler if the preschooler hits or hurts him. The consequence is that he loses the opportunity to play with this brother if he behaves badly. Be sure the the preschooler has his own space to play, to address any feelings he may have that his sibling is invading his space. Make sure you are reinforceing positive...

My wife and I noticed immediately how differently her teenage daughter behaves and treats us when she returns from a visit with her father.  Oftentimes she is rude, abrasive, and immediately begins to complain about how our rules are stupid and how we are controlling her life.  And why shouldn't she when her father has no rules.  He shows up a couple of times a year to buy her favorite treats and give her gifts or money.  Such is the case for so many parents whose children go to another parent's home for visitation.  Some parents get similar behaviors from their children when they just go to a grandparent's home when discipline is handled differently.  This is one of the frustrating challenges of the modern society... everyone doesn't parent the same.  The times have changed and the ownership falls on the engaged parent to react in certain ways to the annoying behaviors we get when our child returns from a visit.  Download my READY-TO-PRINT articl...

Catch yourself just before you're about to say something to your child, spouse, significant other, or anyone, and ask yourself, "is what I'm about to say going to bring me closer to that person, or make me right?" When it is our time to leave this world and face the greater power that created us, I doubt we will be judged on the number of times we were right, and instead, the strength of our relationships.

An angel of a step mom of two teenage kids reached out to me for help with the oldest, a boy.  She reported to me that his bio-mom's past ineffective parenting created enormous problems for the boy, and his new family.  He seems to have given up with his school work, he became addicted to entertainment media, and he doesn't care about life in general.  This step mom was also concerned that his behavior may have negative influence on his 13 year old bio sister and his new, younger, half siblings.  Here is my response to her: First of all, keep in mind that his grades and his school performance belong to him, not you. Unfortunately, if he chooses a path of destruction in school, there is not a lot you can do about it.  Forcing him to study or punishing him won't work.  If he is getting psychotherapy treatment, then you are doing all you can for him for now. There is the risk that he will screw it all up and end up having to go ...