Bill Corbett

Do your kids drive you crazy asking you to buy them things while you're at the store with them? They start by asking for something they see, but as soon as you say "no" they begin to escalate the situation with pleading, demanding, and sometimes an all out temper tantrum. You try not to over react, but it seems like the only way to get them to stop is to give in and buy them what they wanted, yell at them to stop bugging you, or threaten them with punishment when you get to the car or home.  By the time you leave the store, you are not a happy camper. On top of that, none of those solutions works very well. The problem with using threats is that what worked today may not work tomorrow. Giving in to your children's demands is even worse because it teaches them that making demands works, and then demanding becomes their go-to solution for getting what they want. Try this tip the next time you head to the store with the kids. Before you get out of the car in ...

Punishment is a tool designed to make a child "pay for what they did" and to feel bad about the way they acted. The belief is that the bad feeling will stick with them and motivate them to not repeat the behavior or action. But punishment has side effects that can create more problems for the parent then they originally had. For example, making a child feel bad can backfire and motivate them to hide and lie about their mistakes. It can also damage the parent/child relationship. Think back to your own childhood and remember a time when you were punished. How did you feel? How did you feel about yourself at that moment? What did you want to do as a result of the punishment? How did you feel toward the punisher? I've asked these questions numerous times in my workshops and not once did any adult say they felt good about anything in that moment. We now know that making a child feel bad about what they did affects the way they think and feel about them self. ...

PARENTS WHO LISTEN MORE AND SPEAK LESS . A child's emotions, thoughts, and behavior may be unstable during this difficult time. They need to be able to express how they feel without their emotions begin stuffed. Some of the things they say may be difficult for the parent to hear, so don't dismiss or minimize what is said or how they feel. REGULAR ACCESS TO GRANDPARENTS . Relationships with your extended family may be difficult for you, but the kids still need them. Determine what access grandparents and other extended family members will have to your children and remain open to the fact that these adults can be very helpful during this difficult time. It can often times be easier for children to express their feelings to grandparents and others. PARENTS WILLING TO TAKE A PARENTING CLASS . I'm not talking about the inexpensive divorce class that most states require all divorcing parents to go through, I'm talking about a multi-session parenting class in which pa...

Did someone in your past hurt you to the point where you can't let go? Were you abused as a child by a parent, guardian, or another adult? Or perhaps you were mistreated as a young adult and you're still waiting for that person to apologize for what they did?  You are a beautiful, talented, and precious individual who is responsible for raising a child or teen, and they need you here and now—100%. But it’s very possible that past experiences may be holding you back from living your dreams and being fully present for them. There’s also a chance you’re never going to get the apology you've needed for so long. So what do you do about it? Give yourself the permission you've been waiting for to be the wonderful person—and parent—you were intended to be.  Inspired by her own experience of writing the letter of apology she knew she was never going to get, author Valerie Utton wrote, Letters of Apology: How to Stop Waiting for Permission to Be the Wonderful Person You ...

Last week, Massachusetts' highest court determined that parents cannot be charged for spanking their minor children as long as the force used is 'reasonable.' The spanking delivered cannot cause the child physical harm or mental distress. But just because this group of misguided justices says it's OK to hit a child, there are far more effective means for handling misbehavior in young children. Here are five alternatives you can begin using immediately. Satisfy a Need . Children who fall in the 0 - 18 month age bracket do not misbehave; they are simply expressing needs that must be satisfied. Therefore, there is no need to spank or use any other punitive means for managing behavior. During this phase of the child's life, they are moving, touching and making sounds to express a need that parents must learn to interpret and meet. Redirection or Distraction . Toddlers and preschoolers often do things that are annoying or frustrating to the adult: trying to touc...

If you don't, you should. It is every parent's responsibility to get to know their children's friends, including the parents of those friends. This is especially important if you allow your children to go to their friends' homes to play or hangout. Doing so provides clues as to how safe your child will be in their home and whether there will be positive or negative things that could  influence your children while they're in the care of these other adults. One day, a father dropping off his daughter to play with ours, immediately began backing out of the driveway after his little girl got out of the car. I quickly approached the car to introduce myself and without saying a word, he rolled down the window and just stared at me. I was stunned when he responded in a manner that said, "So what." He reluctantly said his name and quickly drove away. I could not believe that he was dropping his sweet little 9-year-old daughter off at a house he had never be...

I was walking in back of you recently, leaving a local 'big box' retailer in the early evening hours and watched you struggle with your child. She appeared to be about seven or eight years of age and she was refusing to walk with you and kept lagging behind. A few times she even stopped on purpose and it was making you extremely mad. First of all, let me say that I've been in your shoes, having raised three children of my own and helped care for a few grand children as well. It's not easy dragging children along at the end of the day when you're on a tight schedule and feeling rushed, stressed, and tired.  I first want to thank you for not hitting that little girl, although you came awfully close to doing just that, a few times. I could see that she was testing you to your limits and your voice began to increase in volume and tone. I prayed that you didn't hit her when you got into your vehicle or when you got her back home. If I could have offered some ...