Bill Corbett

My parents punished all eight of us regularly, although I'll argue that I got it more as the oldest. The punishment included yelling, hitting and being sent to our room. When I was laying in my bed crying, I never thought about what it was that I did. All I ever thought about was how much I hated my parents and thoughts about how I could get even. I even had thoughts about running away and suicide, but I'm thankful today that I never acted on them. Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash Punishment is an old parenting tool designed to make a child "pay for what they did" and to feel bad about the way they acted. The belief is that the bad feeling will stick with them and motivate them to not repeat the behavior or action. It also enables a parent to take their frustration out on the child... frustration about what the child did, the result of the behavior and just their general frustration they might be feeling at the moment. But punishment has side effects that can cr...

I'm Bill Corbett, the author of the book LOVE, LIMITS & LESSONS: A PARENT'S GUIDE TO RAISING COOPERATIVE KIDS and I've spent over 25 years working with parents and teachers with children with challenging behaviors. By subscribing to this blog, you'll learn techniques for getting your kids to cooperate with you and the result will be having children who are more loving and fun to be with. These techniques are respectful to both you and your child and when practiced over and over, you'll find yourself with more peace and calmness in your home, or in your classroom if you're a teacher.  Photo by  Terricks Noah  on  Unsplash One day my 8-year-old daughter didn't arrive home from school as she normally did. I was working from home on this day and quickly became worried. I headed down the street and began retracing her steps back to the local elementary school. As I approached a tall fence that surrounded a ball field, I saw her at the back of the field and be...

You've done so much for them, slaved for them and sacrificed for them, and then if you don't give them what they want, they get mad at you. It hardly seems fair, all the things we do for our kids and they don't appreciate it. Then we hear them say things like, "I hate you," or "I hate this house." We hear, "You're a mean mom," or "I'm mad at you!" It's common for kids to get mad at their parents but the solution is the hardest for parents to do... just let them be mad. Good parents learn quickly that they are not their child's friend, they are their parent. But if the parents aren't prepared to hear it and know how to respond, they get defensive or they get even. Worse, they give in to regain the love child is withholding. Read the full article here:  What to Do When Someone Is Mad at You (60+ Helpful Tips) (upjourney.com) I was in the toy section of a department store one day, shopping for a gift for my grandson. ...

How to Break Your Kids' Addiction to Screen Time What if a parent realizes the importance of limiting screen time for kids, and admits she didn't take measures to set up boundaries at home? Is it too late? I say, not at all, but there are two things the parent must take into consideration: implementing the limitations gradually and being prepared to deal with challenging behavior that may result from the change in boundaries. Why Screen Time is Bad for Kids Experts agree that too much screen time is bad for kids for two reasons: it affects the frontal lobe of the brain and it can become a digital addiction. The frontal lobe is in constant construction until around the age of 25 is responsible for many important cognitive skills, such as judgment and managing emotions, both things we need our youth to develop effectively and on time, and at the very least to keep themselves and others safe. According to the publication Psychology Today, excessive screen time damages br...

Preschoolers and young school-aged children easily can be frightened by images of disasters.  They live in a world somewhere between reality and fantasy, and often have difficulty distinguishing between the two. They also have not yet developed their full understanding of mortality, or whether something on television is far away or close by.  Here are some guidelines for handling children’s exposure to devastating events in the news.    Limit Their Exposure .  This is a good time to fall back on effectively managing their access to the television by limiting the amount of time they watch it.  If you have to watch it yourself, get your children involved in another activity at that time.  There are numerous university studies that confirm the high amount of violence on television and the effects on children.  Some of these effects include desensitization to the pain and suffering of others, more fearfulness in general, and increased aggressivene...

A grandparent posted a comment on one of my social media channels. She said, "My dear grandchildren earn their toys and playtime and screen time with tickets. X number required for X activity or toy. Tickets taken away for sass or disobedience. Works like a charm. Helps kids learn to police themselves." My response to her was this: "I'm delighted to hear that you found something that works for you with managing screen time, good for you. Screen time should be kept to no more that 30 - 60 mins. per day for young children. I am concerned however, that you are controlling healthy playtime. It is my opinion that playtime should be given automatically to children, as is oxygen and healthy food. Healthy, non screentime play is critical to a child's development and should not be controlled or withheld. Toys on the other hand, must be controlled because many children have too many. Too many toys can lead to anxiety and chaos." "My children could onl...

So your child’s back in school and soon the homework will be coming home.  Many parents struggle with getting their kids to do their homework and some even end up doing it for them.  The first thing to keep in mind is that your child owns the homework, not you.  So what do YOU own? Here are four things that the parent owns in regards to a child’s homework. THE SUPPLIES Work with your child in coming up with a list of the supplies he feels he’ll need.  Allow him to carry the hand basket and make the supplies selection in the store, with your guidance of course.  Help give him even more ownership by allowing him to carry the money and make the final purchase at the register. THE LOCATION Allow your child to help you determine where the homework will be done on a daily basis and have her help you set up this special location.  You want to be sure that the lighting is appropriate, seating is comfortable, and distractions are minimal.  Don’t be afra...