Skip to main content

I Want My Son to Play a Sport and Win

I received the following email from a parent:  “My son is getting older and I would like to enroll him in a sport this summer.  I have heard horror stories about parents pushing their kids to win, so how do I encourage him to do his best and want to win without making him feel pressured?”

First of all I want to acknowledge this mom as an awesome parent for wanting to get your son involved with a sports activity.  Both the physical activity and his experience with a team will contribute greatly to his development.  But most importantly, it will keep him off of the video screen and out of his room for a good portion of the time over the summer.

A crucial part of keeping this boy motivated to continue with an activity requires this mom to control and limit the things that would keep her son from wanting to participate in a sport; such as his video games and computer.  I encourage her to put a limitation of time on these time-wasting distractions and definitely keep them out of his room. 

Unless the child was raised with a limitation on entertainment electronics, many boys may not want to go out and "sweat it up" when they can instead, remain in the comfort of their room on YouTube or play with their Xbox.  It's up to this mom to put controls on these nonessential distractions to help keep him focused.

Because of the indisputable psychological fact that children and teens often cooperate the least with the mother, I suggest she reach out to any male family members that your son favors and call them in for assistance.  Have one of these guys (grandfathers, uncles, neighbors, cousins, etc.) individually spend some time with your son, helping him come up with sports that he enjoys. 

And the activity he picks doesn't necessarily have to be a sport.  Some children and teens may find that scouting or table games may be more to their liking.  Everyone isn't wired to want to play an active sport on a team.  There are many activities that will challenge a child or teen and don’t require competition or game play.

If her son is not sure what activity he would like to get involved in, I suggest that she ask the selected male family member to take her son to a few events that he can investigate and observe.  It is very likely that the male family member will be more successful than the mother at getting her boy to open up and explore his likes and dislikes.

Finally, I urge this mom to help her son focus more on what  sport he likes to play, rather than what sport he would like to win at.  We would all love for our kids to strive to win at what they do, but any philosophical teacher will remind you that it's not winning a game that matters, but playing the game that makes it all worth while.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

About Me

My photo
Bill Corbett
Bill Corbett is a nationally recognized parent educator, author, and speaker known for his practical and compassionate approach to raising children. He has helped countless parents, caregivers, and professionals better understand child behavior and discipline through his workshops, seminars, books, and media appearances. As the creator of the "Love, Limits & Lessons" parenting program, Corbett emphasizes respectful and effective communication, age-appropriate expectations, and the importance of emotional connection in child-rearing. His work is grounded in positive discipline strategies that foster cooperation and confidence in both children and parents.

Popular posts from this blog

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. HOW TO STOP KIDS' BEGGING FOR TOYS One of those programs that frequently offers...
6 comments
Read more

Is Your Child Asking for a Labubu?

What is this "Creepy-Cute" Collectible All About? Labubu has become a huge hit around the world as a collectible that brings together fashion lovers, collectors, and celebrities. Kasing Lung made this small monster in 2015 for his Monsters art collection, which was based on Nordic mythology. After Hong Kong artist Kasing Lung made Labubu in 2015 for his The Monsters art project, Chinese toy company Pop Mart made a lot of them in blind-box sets. The toy comes in a blind package that hides all of its features. There are more than 300 variations as of the time this article was written. So what's the big deal? 1. The excitement of perhaps acquiring a rare item. Psychologists believe it's like gambling or an obsession, and this makes a dopamine loop. 2. The mix of silky fur and pointed, jagged teeth in "ugly-cute" and edgy styles is quite appealing. 3. A desire that celebrities and social media make people feel. Kids want to stay up with the current trends be...
Post a Comment
Read more

Connection First: Why Your Child Needs You More Than Your Consequences

Most parents share the desire for their child to become kind while developing respect and emotional strength. A peaceful home environment matters more to you than the chaotic atmosphere of constant power struggles between you and your child. The urge to establish consequences for boundary pushing from children leads parents into a pattern of questioning what punishment will stop their behavior. Children do not require increased disciplinary measures. Their needs extend beyond the realm of consequences to include a stronger connection. Get the LOVE, LIMITS & LESSONS cooperations book by CLICKING HERE . The Myth of “Making Them Learn” The standard parenting approach instructs parents to remove privileges when their child misbehaves. The method works to obtain temporary compliance, but it does not lead to sustained growth. Children develop better through relationships that offer them emotional safety and help them manage their feelings and actions. Our fru...
Post a Comment
Read more