Why firm, respectful parenting can feel lonely—and why it is worth continuing Sometimes the hardest part of parenting differently is not managing your child’s behavior. It is managing the opinions of everyone watching you. You decide not to give your child unlimited access to a phone, tablet, video game, or social-media account simply because “all the other kids have one.” You allow your child to express anger or disappointment without immediately punishing the emotion. You establish reasonable limits, follow through with consequences, and try to remain calm when those limits are tested. You want to raise your child with both firmness and respect. Then someone tells you that you are being too soft. Another person says you are being too strict. A relative insists that your child needs to learn who is in charge. A friend rolls their eyes when you explain your screen-time limits. Someone else tells you that children must experience everything eventually, so there is no point trying to pro...
Our jobs demanded long hours. Highway construction stretched our commute. Yard work never seemed to end. Weekends felt more exhausting than restorative. And inside our home, our three school-aged and preteen children seemed to be fighting more and cooperating less. Get the book that provides many answers. When we compared notes with other parents in casual conversations, we realized we weren’t unusual. We were normal. Busy. Stressed. Doing our best. But while I couldn’t do much about corporate deadlines or growing grass, I became increasingly focused on one question: How could I become a better father? I wanted our children to get along better. I wanted more cooperation. I wanted our home to feel less reactive and more connected. I quickly realized that yelling and punitive discipline weren’t producing the results I hoped for. In fact, they seemed to be making things worse. And I knew something else with absolute clarity: I did not want to repeat the patterns I had grown up with. My fa...
