Many parents assume their primary job is to provide answers. Children ask questions. Parents give answers. Simple enough. But what if some of the most important moments in a child's development happen when we resist the urge to answer? Children are constantly trying to make sense of their world. They are organizing thoughts, processing experiences, exploring emotions, and building confidence in their own ability to think. Unfortunately, adults often interrupt this process without realizing it. A child begins telling a story. Before they finish, we explain what happened. A child asks a question. Before they have a chance to think, we provide the answer. A child expresses a feeling. Before they can explore it, we rush in to make it better. While our intentions are good, we sometimes rob children of valuable opportunities to develop their own thinking. Three simple phrases can help. 1. Tell Me More This phrase communicates one powerful message: "I'm interest...
A child proudly brings home a drawing from school. Many parents immediately respond with enthusiastic praise: "That's beautiful!" "You're such a great artist!" "Wow! You're amazing!" The intention is loving. Most parents simply want their child to feel good about themselves. But what if there's a better response? The Hidden Problem with Constant Praise When children repeatedly hear evaluations from adults, they can begin looking outside themselves to determine how they should feel about their own work. Instead of asking: "What do I think about this?" They begin asking: "What do you think about this?" Over time, children may become motivated by approval rather than personal satisfaction, effort, growth, or pride. The challenge comes later in life when someone doesn't approve. The child who has learned to depend on praise can be crushed by criticism. A Different Approach Imagine the same child showing you a drawing. ...