Showing posts from January, 2023

Why Punishment Should Be Avoided

My parents punished all eight of us regularly, although I'll argue that I got it more as the oldest. The punishment included yelling, hitting and being sent to our room. When I was laying in my bed crying, I never thought about what it was that I did. All I ever thought about was how much I hated my parents and thoughts about how I could get even. I even had thoughts about running away and suicide, but I'm thankful today that I never acted on them. Photo by Ksenia Makagonova on Unsplash Punishment is an old parenting tool designed to make a child "pay for what they did" and to feel bad about the way they acted. The belief is that the bad feeling will stick with them and motivate them to not repeat the behavior or action. It also enables a parent to take their frustration out on the child... frustration about what the child did, the result of the behavior and just their general frustration they might be feeling at the moment. But punishment has side effects that can cr