Showing posts from August, 2012

My Child Just Said %#@! Now What Do I Do?

When you set up a rule, there is a chance that it may get broken or challenged.  If it does, don’t get angry. For example, let’s say you state a rule such as,”Here’s daddy’s rule, no standing on the chair.”  Your child may think,”Hhmmm, let’s see what happens if I stand on the chair,” and then proceeds to do it.  Then of course, you get mad and yell.  Because your child is wired by design to test your boundaries, your reaction gives them the reward for breaking the rule!  Successful parenting includes NOT getting mad, NOT punishing or NOT responding with emotion when your child tests your boundaries.  When setting up rules to keep your child and others safe, or to preserve the boundaries of others, a consequence is required, not punishment. best candy selection on the internet Why do our children say things to us like “NO!” or “You’re stupid!”?  Because they know you don’t like the word and it causes you to react.  Remember, they are little beings living in a land of gian

Too Much Stuff Creates Emotional Choas

In some of my previous posts, I have commented on the issue of getting your kids to clean their room and how we should apply our energy to controlling what goes in that room, rather than demanding that they keep it cleaned.  But if it is too hard for you to ignore the messy room, there are some other things you can do as the parent to encourage your children to clean their rooms.    Let’s say your child or teen wants to have friends over to play or hang out (depending on the development phase of the child), because having friends over is a privilege and not a right, you can now say, “I am willing to cooperate with you and allow you to have your friends over when your room is picked up (or organized).  You are willing to cooperate with them if they are willing to cooperate with you.   (A problem some parents deal with) bedwetting protection Let’s examine another issue that should be your concern… too much stuff!  If they have too many things in their room, it is tim

PLEASE PARENTS: Stop Doing Too Much For Your Child

The other day I watched a mother do everything for her child.  She kept getting up from the table every few minutes, responding to her child’s every request, even the things the child should have been doing for herself.  Finally, the mother had it and snapped at the little girl, saying that it was time for her to do some particular thing on her own.  The child slumped to the ground and began to scream.  The mother couldn’t take the crying and got up to retrieve the item her daughter originally wanted her to get for her.  The little girl took the item and threw it angrily.  I think children truly want to do things for themselves but they become addicted in some fashion to controlling the parent to do everything for them.  If the mom in my story above doesn’t learn to set boundaries for her little girl, mom’s issues are going to escalate as her daughter gets older.  The little girl may easily become spoiled and be a burden for other family members and teachers.   Each pro

My Child Won’t Shut Off the Video Game!

Video game time is not a right; it’s a privilege and one we want to give to our children often.   Effective parenting means teaching your child that all good things (including fun things) are enjoyed in moderation.   Time activities such as these and get agreements with your child up front as to how long the game time playing will be.  Set a visual timer to manage it.   If the timer goes off and the child continues to play the game, put your hand gently on his back and guide him away from the screen and to where he needs to go.    This is likely to work if you’ve taken the measures to set up the previous agreement.   What causes the biggest problem for us is what we say and the energy attached to it when we don’t get the cooperation we need and expect. A parent may say in frustration, “I TOLD you we have to go to the grocery store now let’s go!”   All that talking creates the largest part of the problem. When you demonstrate that you are not talking and not reacting, and you mo

Facts You Might Not Know About Your Child

Kids are kids and there are certain facts about kids that parents must first accept.   I want you to compare this to thinking about specific things about you. Let’s say you are a reader, you like to shop, you like to talk, or that you just like to watch TV a lot. These things about you aren’t likely to change. It’s just the way you are. In fact when we get into a relationship with somebody, we want them to understand that this is what I do and this is who I am and this is the way life is. I expect you to honor and respect me for who I am and work around that.   We all have peculiar things we like to do or characteristics about us that we don’t really want others to try and change.   Now, let me compare this to children. Because there are certain things about our children that just are. One little-know fact is that they live only in the moment and they have no time management skills.   That presents a problem for us because we need to get “stuff” done.   We’ll say, “Let’s GO,

Misbehavior on the School Bus

School is back and some of us may feel a bit of relief to get our kids back there.   Don’t get me wrong, I love my children just as you do, but having them back in school can give us a little bit of a break and some breathing room after having them home all summer.   If your kids go to an all-year school, you may have only had them home for a few short weeks.   But a great part of the frustration we experience with our kids is not understanding why they behave the way they do.   We know they don’t come with a manual so I’ve done the next best thing!   I’ve written my 5 th published book, “10 Little-Known Facts About KidsThat Will Change The Way You Parent Forever.”   It could be that guide you’ve needed all along to better understand your child.   With this information, you will undoubtedly change your approach to challenging behaviors and end up getting better results.   The book is priced at just $4.99 so why not give it a try.   If you’re not happy with what you learn, I’ll ref