Showing posts from October, 2012

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. One of those programs that frequently offers misguided information and gimmicks is the Love and Lo

Five Things to do to Avoid Hearing NO

It is incredibly frustrating when our child says "NO" to us.  If we react to it, they could feel more powerful than we want them to, causing them to do it more often.  Often times, they are saying no as a way of communicating that they need to feel more powerful.  We want our children to have the power to say no to others, so we must be careful how we handle their objections at home.  Here are five methods to gain a child’s cooperation.   No: Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It Don’t Overreact When They Tell You No .  Overreacting gives your children inappropriate power and may anger you.  If they refuse to comply, turn your original request into an entertaining activity in order to get it done.  Race them to the bath or tell them you’re going to pick up more puzzle pieces then they will.  If you find yourself becoming angry, walk away and let it go, and use one of the following ideas next time to be more successful.   Use Choices Inste

What is the Right Age For Chores?

Parents have many questions about assigning children household chores.  As children, some parents were assigned heavy chores, some were paid for them to be done, and others had no prescribed chores.  When two adults come together as parents but were raised with differing points of view on chores, they may become confused and unable to agree, and the child suffers.  Sometimes, I’m asked, “At what age should children be expected to start doing chores around the house?”  Many parents want to begin teaching their children responsibility and are eager to get them started.  They are also not sure what are age-appropriate chores for the different age groups? Board Dudes Magnetic Dry Erase Rewards Chore Chart (11020WA-4)                                   Children should be expected to begin helping around the house whenever they are ready to do so.  Regardless of the exact procedures used, parents should create an atmosphere in the family that encourages everyone to clean up after