Showing posts from June, 2013

I Want My Son to Play a Sport and Win

I received the following email from a parent:   “My son is getting older and I would like to enroll him in a sport this summer.   I have heard horror stories about parents pushing their kids to win, so how do I encourage him to do his best and want to win without making him feel pressured?” First of all I want to acknowledge this mom as an awesome parent for wanting to get your son involved with a sports activity.  Both the physical activity and his experience with a team will contribute greatly to his development.  But most importantly, it will keep him off of the video screen and out of his room for a good portion of the time over the summer. A crucial part of keeping this boy motivated to continue with an activity requires this mom to control and limit the things that would keep her son from wanting to participate in a sport; such as his video games and computer.  I encourage her to put a limitation of time on these time-wasting distractions and definitely keep them out o

Why Some Parents Spank

This is for all the parents who set out NOT to spank their children, but end up doing it anyway; you are NOT bad parents, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do.  I believe you may get frustrated to the point of using it to gain the child’s attention or as an attempt to stop challenging behaviors immediately.  I can say that I've been in your shoes!  I raised 3 children of my own and often felt myself get to the point of having the urge to spank.  So I feel for parents and know how hard it is when our children push our patience to the upper limits. (Photograph courtesy of David Castillo Dominici and I was the oldest of eight children and took notice of my parent’s anger and how it would provoke them to the point of spanking, and they did.  I remember having the sense that one or both of them would be bothered by something outside of my control and then I would do something that kids do and it would push them to their breaking point.  I would g

Teaching With Routine and Sameness

Have you ever noticed how your children love to catch you making a mistake, especially when you do something out of order?  Children learn about the world around them by sameness and routine and they crave patterns that they can learn from. One evening we had visitors over for dinner and it was a special occasion.  The food was coming out of the oven in phases to keep it warm.  One of our young guests must have been hungry so she served herself what was on the table and took a bite.  My oldest daughter, the perfectionist child, was quick to catch her breaking a dinner-time rule and called attention to the violation.  Our family procedures had trained her that we all start eating together, after the blessing. Use this teaching tool to your advantage, especially when you want to increase the cooperation from your young children.  Family situations such as the morning rush, dinner time and bedtime are 3 situations that can be stressful on parents and children.  Creating a reocc