Bill Corbett

A grandparent posted a comment on one of my social media channels. She said, "My dear grandchildren earn their toys and playtime and screen time with tickets. X number required for X activity or toy. Tickets taken away for sass or disobedience. Works like a charm. Helps kids learn to police themselves." My response to her was this: "I'm delighted to hear that you found something that works for you with managing screen time, good for you. Screen time should be kept to no more that 30 - 60 mins. per day for young children. I am concerned however, that you are controlling healthy playtime. It is my opinion that playtime should be given automatically to children, as is oxygen and healthy food. Healthy, non screentime play is critical to a child's development and should not be controlled or withheld. Toys on the other hand, must be controlled because many children have too many. Too many toys can lead to anxiety and chaos." "My children could onl...

Do your kids drive you crazy asking you to buy them things while you're at the store with them? They start by asking for something they see, but as soon as you say "no" they begin to escalate the situation with pleading, demanding, and sometimes an all out temper tantrum. You try not to over react, but it seems like the only way to get them to stop is to give in and buy them what they wanted, yell at them to stop bugging you, or threaten them with punishment when you get to the car or home.  By the time you leave the store, you are not a happy camper. On top of that, none of those solutions works very well. The problem with using threats is that what worked today may not work tomorrow. Giving in to your children's demands is even worse because it teaches them that making demands works, and then demanding becomes their go-to solution for getting what they want. Try this tip the next time you head to the store with the kids. Before you get out of the car in ...

Last week, Massachusetts' highest court determined that parents cannot be charged for spanking their minor children as long as the force used is 'reasonable.' The spanking delivered cannot cause the child physical harm or mental distress. But just because this group of misguided justices says it's OK to hit a child, there are far more effective means for handling misbehavior in young children. Here are five alternatives you can begin using immediately. Satisfy a Need . Children who fall in the 0 - 18 month age bracket do not misbehave; they are simply expressing needs that must be satisfied. Therefore, there is no need to spank or use any other punitive means for managing behavior. During this phase of the child's life, they are moving, touching and making sounds to express a need that parents must learn to interpret and meet. Redirection or Distraction . Toddlers and preschoolers often do things that are annoying or frustrating to the adult: trying to touc...

Do you consider yourself to be a happy parent? Have you ever asked another adult in your life if they think you are? It might be interesting to see how others perceive you. What about your children, would they say that you’re a happy parent? Many parents are not happy, just look around you at the grocery store or at the playground. You may even have noticed parents in your own extended family, snapping at their children or speaking to them in a demanding tone. And many may have good reason to act this way, with heavier demands from their jobs, difficulty paying bills, or additional pressures taking care of other family members. Unhappy parents end up raising unhappy children, so there is an impact to others from your own unhappiness. If you feel that you could use a HAPPINESS TUNEUP as a parent, here are 4 things you can begin doing immediately to bring on a more positive change. STOP CONTROLLING THE OUTCOME . It can become too easy to over extend your reach in ensuring that everyth...

It’s nearly Christmas and I’m shopping at a department store.  A woman in the isle just ahead of me is pushing her shopping cart and begging her daughter to cooperate with her.  The little girl appears to be about four or five years of age and is dragging her feet and whining that she’s too tired to walk.  Her mom looks very tired and continues to plead with the child to keep moving.  Suddenly the little girl collapses on the floor and mom seems to be on the verge of ‘losing it.’  The woman picks up her daughter swiftly and sets her in the carriage. Once placed in the carriage, the little girl begins kicking her feet and the crying begins.  Soon, she’s demanding to get out of the carriage and her mom is doing everything in her power to hold back her anger. In that moment, I felt so bad for both of them and wished there was something I could do to help.  Both mom and daughter are probably feeling the stress of shopping, the holidays and who kno...

This is for all the parents who set out NOT to spank their children, but end up doing it anyway; you are NOT bad parents, sometimes you just don’t know what else to do.  I believe you may get frustrated to the point of using it to gain the child’s attention or as an attempt to stop challenging behaviors immediately.  I can say that I've been in your shoes!  I raised 3 children of my own and often felt myself get to the point of having the urge to spank.  So I feel for parents and know how hard it is when our children push our patience to the upper limits. Stop the Whinning: THE NEW WISH BOOK FOR BOYS I was the oldest of eight children and took notice of my parent’s anger and how it would provoke them to the point of spanking, and they did.  I remember having the sense that one or both of them would be bothered by something outside of my control and then I would do something that kids do and it would push them to their breaking point.  I would g...

I was in my Philadelphia hotel room when the newsflash appeared on the television screen: “13-year-old Philadelphia-area girl is missing,” and the authorities were pleading for anyone to come forward with information on her whereabouts.   The story was updated the very next night when the local news station reported that the girl was found in a Washington D.C. bus station in the company of a 20-year-old male whom she met online on Facebook. Over the next few days I saw various interviews with the girl’s parents as they demanded justice for the male predator who was responsible for convincing her to leave her home with him.  The authorities apprehended him without incident and charged the young man with “corruption of a minor.”  Perhaps her parents should be arrested with him on the same charge.  How was it that the 13-year-old girl was able to meet him on Facebook without her parents knowing about it?  They were obviously not monitoring her activity and al...