Bill Corbett

  AKA :  The Secret Loving Hand Technique Every parent knows the pain of stepping on a Lego at two in the morning — that sharp, unforgettable reminder that the kids didn’t clean up again. We’ve all been there, asking (or begging) our children to put their toys away, only to find the same mess waiting later. But what if there were a calmer, more loving way to teach kids responsibility — one that doesn’t involve nagging, yelling, or power struggles? Over the years, I discovered one of the most effective and heart-centered methods I’ve ever used. I call it the Loving Hand Technique , and it’s all about connection, agreement, and gentle follow-through. (If you'd rather listen to the podcast version of this blog post, CLICK THIS LINK now. You can also watch the video version on Youtube by CLICKING HERE .) 1. The Two Types of Toys (and Why It Matters) When it comes to toy clutter, not all toys are created equal. I like to think of them as two types: Big, Bulky Toys These ar...

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably heard it more times than you can count:      =============================      LISTEN TO THE PODCAST     ============================= “Mom, can I get this?” “Dad, I need that toy!” “Can we pleeeease go to the store?” Whether it’s a commercial on TV, a shiny new toy their friend just got, or an ad that pops up on your phone, kids are surrounded by things they want — and they’re not shy about letting you know. And if we’re honest, many of us have given in at one point or another. Why? Because giving in is often faster and quieter than standing our ground. It ends the whining, the pleading, and the meltdown in the store aisle. But here’s the problem: every time we give in, we teach our kids that persistence (and loudness!) works — so they repeat the pattern next time. But what if there were a way to break the cycle that also taught them patience, gratitude, and the value of waiting? Introducing: The Wis...

I wanted to take my autistic granddaughter to the butterfly botanical garden near us, but I was afraid she would want to touch everything and ruin the visit. Luckily, they have a list of rules at the entrance, and we went over them together. After reading through them a few times and getting her verbal commitment to follow them, I told her that we needed to come up with a "grandpa thing" (a consequence) that would have to happen if either one of us didn't obey the rules. We went back and forth with ideas until we settled (mainly me) on the (Actual picture of my granddaughter) decision that our adventure at the gardens would end. Knowing her very well, in the past, she would agree to the rules at first, but her autism didn't always allow her to maintain the agreement. The one rule I was most concerned with was that everyone must remain on the walkway and not venture into animal and plant life. Along the way, I watched her struggle with wanting to touch plants and butt...

Some of my readers may be bothered by the fact that I refer to this as the DCF exercise, while others might consider it a gimmick. But I did it with my kids and it worked! Children don’t immediately understand the importance of cooperation, and they may need a little instruction and then coaching on how to participate effectively. This is especially true if you’ve given in to your children more than you should have, and you know it.  Some parents may not need to go this far, but it’s an option for those who wish their kids were more cooperative. Additionally, it can be a fun game that brings your family closer together. At the very least, it’s just another tool for their toolbox. Feel free to leave your comments on whether you support this or not. I value your opinions, so please feel free to share your thoughts. Best parenting tool EVER! Have you ever experienced a situation where you did something amazing for your children, such as taking them to Disney, buying them a game system...

Children experimenting as an animal is absolutely normal. They do it because they are simply exploring or perhaps, to gain some attention. Parents should allow their children to behave like a cat at home and you as the parent, simply ignore it. If your child answers you with a meow, you can simply tell them, "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. I will listen to you when you speak like a little girl." Then just walk away. If your child enters an activity at home meowing like a cat, for example coming to the dinner table. Just calmly tell her that only people can eat at the table and when she returns to being a little girl, she will get food and the rest of the family will speak to her and listen to her again. In other words, don't try to control your child when they are in one of these exploring modes. Let it be and get involved when she tries to participate in the family. Do not meow back at her, do not crawl around on all fours with her and don'...

Preschoolers and young school-aged children easily can be frightened by images of disasters.  They live in a world somewhere between reality and fantasy, and often have difficulty distinguishing between the two. They also have not yet developed their full understanding of mortality, or whether something on television is far away or close by.  Here are some guidelines for handling children’s exposure to devastating events in the news.    Limit Their Exposure .  This is a good time to fall back on effectively managing their access to the television by limiting the amount of time they watch it.  If you have to watch it yourself, get your children involved in another activity at that time.  There are numerous university studies that confirm the high amount of violence on television and the effects on children.  Some of these effects include desensitization to the pain and suffering of others, more fearfulness in general, and increased aggressivene...

So your child’s back in school and soon the homework will be coming home.  Many parents struggle with getting their kids to do their homework and some even end up doing it for them.  The first thing to keep in mind is that your child owns the homework, not you.  So what do YOU own? Here are four things that the parent owns in regards to a child’s homework. THE SUPPLIES Work with your child in coming up with a list of the supplies he feels he’ll need.  Allow him to carry the hand basket and make the supplies selection in the store, with your guidance of course.  Help give him even more ownership by allowing him to carry the money and make the final purchase at the register. THE LOCATION Allow your child to help you determine where the homework will be done on a daily basis and have her help you set up this special location.  You want to be sure that the lighting is appropriate, seating is comfortable, and distractions are minimal.  Don’t be afra...

The child comes home after a sleep over and her mother has this fantasy that her daughter is going to come running in, wrap her arms around her mom and say, “I’m so happy to see you mom, I missed you. Let’s spend some quality time together.” But instead of the scene she imagined, her daughter declares that she’s bored and begins complaining about all the things she doesn’t have that her friend has. Mom does her best to ignore it until the thoughts of how ungrateful her child is and memories of all the money and time she’s spent on her becomes too much. What happens next is the last thing she wanted to have happen, but it does. Mom yells and her daughter yells back. Before too long, the day is wrecked, she sends her daughter to her room and their relationship is strained. And this all transpired because she gave her daughter permission to sleep over a friend’s house for the first time in a long time. So let’s give mom some skills for her to practice and some knowledge that might...

I’m pleased to share the news that my fourth grandchild, Ashton John, was born last week. We arrived at the hospital just after he was born, and because both mother and son were doing great, we all got to meet and hold Ashton and welcome him to the family. After a while, the only person left to be introduced to Ashton was his sister Coraline, my 18-month-old granddaughter.   Coraline had already heard a lot about her baby brother. For months, her mom had been pointing to her belly and saying "This is your brother." If someone asked Coraline where her brother was, she would immediately point to her mom’s belly. And now it was time for her to meet him in person, so her dad brought her into the room.   She was very quiet as she cautiously walked over to the bed. She stopped and stared. After some encouragement, she climbed up onto the bed next to her mom and gently placed her small hand on her new brother. She even began to caress him and smile.   All of a sudden, the baby...

Punishment is a tool designed to make a child "pay for what they did" and to feel bad about the way they acted. The belief is that the bad feeling will stick with them and motivate them to not repeat the behavior or action. But punishment has side effects that can create more problems for the parent then they originally had. For example, making a child feel bad can backfire and motivate them to hide and lie about their mistakes. It can also damage the parent/child relationship. Think back to your own childhood and remember a time when you were punished. How did you feel? How did you feel about yourself at that moment? What did you want to do as a result of the punishment? How did you feel toward the punisher? I've asked these questions numerous times in my workshops and not once did any adult say they felt good about anything in that moment. We now know that making a child feel bad about what they did affects the way they think and feel about them self. ...

PARENTS WHO LISTEN MORE AND SPEAK LESS . A child's emotions, thoughts, and behavior may be unstable during this difficult time. They need to be able to express how they feel without their emotions begin stuffed. Some of the things they say may be difficult for the parent to hear, so don't dismiss or minimize what is said or how they feel. REGULAR ACCESS TO GRANDPARENTS . Relationships with your extended family may be difficult for you, but the kids still need them. Determine what access grandparents and other extended family members will have to your children and remain open to the fact that these adults can be very helpful during this difficult time. It can often times be easier for children to express their feelings to grandparents and others. PARENTS WILLING TO TAKE A PARENTING CLASS . I'm not talking about the inexpensive divorce class that most states require all divorcing parents to go through, I'm talking about a multi-session parenting class in which pa...