Bill Corbett

It may seem strange that I'm grouping television with the other two items, but when it comes to parenting, why shouldn't I? What do they all have in common? They can have dangerous effects on our children. Most parents do good jobs keeping their kids away from the later two, but when it comes to television programming, many others let their kids watch it without supervision. Yet experts continue to warn parents that letting their kids have unsupervised access to TV is not a good idea. In fact, in a recent online article , experts in Australia are concerned about coding changes that will allow mature content shows air well before kids are in bed. If experts are making this warning , why aren't all parents concerned? There are good things about television (or even Internett) programming and bad things. Instead of putting more controls on networks, websites and producers, isn't it time to put more pressure on parents to step up and supervise another thing that is int...

It can be real frustrating raising kids today. It seems as if we do so much more for them than what our parents did for us. In many cases parents CAN do more for their kids because they can afford to do more; Disney trips, a vacation home, providing them with the latest toys or electronic gadgets, and so much more than what many of us had as children. When our children throw fits to get more, it can bring on feelings of resentfulness toward our children. We desperately want to say to them, “Do you even care about all that I’ve done for you up to this point? Do know how hard I had to work to earn the money I’ve spent on you to get you what you want? Do you know how many children there are who have very few clothes and are starving in [insert foreign country here]?” But if we go on in this way, nothing positive will come from it. They won’t understand lack if they’ve never experienced it. And it’s even more difficult for them to be appreciative of what they have when th...

October 16 th was National Boss’s Day. If you have a boss at the office, did you take time to acknowledge him or her? When I worked in Corporate America, I use to flip this upside down. I would tell my staff that they were MY boss and that I worked for them. It was their job to tell me what they needed me to do for them so they could get the REAL work done. Perpetual Kid For me, home was no different. I might have been considered the head of household in some regards, if that title is still used, but my real bosses were my spouse and my children. I did the very best that I could to reinforce the facts that what THEY said and did were more important to me than my work. When the needs of my family were met first, I found myself more productive at the office. For example, my 16-year-old bonus (step) daughter recently announced that I talked too much about money and work at the dinner table. She said it was important to her to not hear about those topics and strongly reques...

A young intern working on a research project contacted me to ask me a few questions about dads, parenting classes and getting them to engage more with their kids. He told me that his team at the University of Wisconsin-Madison was developing intervention programs to support fathers and to find the best ways of engaging them in programs.  Dress up Dad as a Guardian of the Galaxy Costumes at Spirit Halloween! Shop now! He implied there was a belief that men don’t like to take parenting classes and they were trying to find out why. I shared with him that I do occasionally get some dads who contact me for parent coaching or even some who show up at my parenting classes, but mostly it’s the moms who aren’t afraid to seek out help. One of the questions he asked me was, do I interact differently with women as opposed to men in my coaching sessions. I told him that a large part of my training with parents is to help them understand the emotional intelligence aspect of their child an...

What happens if your 18-year-old or older child is behaving badly? What do you do then? This is a predicament that parents often ask me about and it’s probably one of the most frustrating situations that parents of older children have to deal with.  Here are just some of the issues that parents have shared with me that frustrate them; coming in loud and late at night even though house rules were established, skipping classes or getting bad grades when you’re paying for their education, or living destructive lives with substance abuse or extreme risk-taking. During the adolescent years, your teenage child develops “an allergy” toward you because they are going through a phase in life in which they must reject the whole premise that they were once a dependent little child. And because you, the parent, are attached to that image they have of themselves of once being dependent on you, they in essence are rejecting you as well. This rejection may appear as them not liking you, b...

I saw a friend the other day and complimented him on his suit. It looked freshly pressed and the creases were sharp. To me, it looked like a brand new suit, but in response to my compliment, he quickly said, “It’s just an old suit that I got out of the back of my closet.” Have you ever given someone a compliment like I did, only to have the other person tell you that she got it off the clearance rack at a local clothing store? How did her reply make you feel in that moment? Did you feel energized to provide more or did you feel a sudden let down that your compliment was a waste of time and not accepted? As a parent, how often do you compliment your child or your teen? What about your significant other? Sometimes it seems like we give more compliments to others than we do to our own family. And what about you; what do you say when someone compliments you or your outfit? Have you noticed that you too provide a response that minimizes the gift you just received? I think we do this...

I’m having great difficulty blocking out the news of another tragedy where senseless killings were carried out in Isla Vista, California. Another 20-something male decided to end his life, and took six innocent young people with him.  Books for Teens to Help Them Grow What makes this incident more difficult for me is the fear I feel for my 16-year-old who is starting to date. She is going to meet young men and develop relationships. But what if she rebuffs a young man who feels like the California killer did, alienated and rejected to the point where he decides that death is the appropriate punishment.  Domestic violence, bullying, and teen dating violence are very serious issues that too many people feel too apprehensive and uncomfortable talking about. But how can we stop these incidents? We certainly can’t know or make accusations about someone else’s mental stability, and we certainly can’t lock up our teens and young adults to keep them from meeting the wrong peop...

Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net and pakorn Our youngest turned 16 this year and before too long, she’ll be driving.  We already have a used car parked in our driveway that will be getting a tune up, new tires and a full inspection.  We didn’t pay much for it and I wouldn’t trust it on long trips, but it will become her transportation to get her to school and to work and back.  And each day she leaves the driveway, my wife and I will cross our fingers and say a few prayers, even though she has older brothers who set out on this same journey ahead of her. One reason for our parental worry is what we learned from a Reid Hollister recent guest who appeared on my parenting television show at the Enfield Cox studios.  Tim Hollister of Connecticut lost his 17-year-old son Reid in a driving accident in 2006.  Since that tragic incident, Mr. Hollister wrote the book “Not So Fast: Parenting Your Teen Through the Dangers of Driving.”  Visit Mr. Holl...

The parent who sent me this message was seeking help with choosing the right punishment for her teen’s bad choice.  I advised her that punishment rarely works in teaching children valuable lessons and actually can backfire and cause more problems than what the parents started with.  In most cases, the only things that a punishment accomplishes are making the child fearful of the parent and to doing a better job of hiding the misbehavior the next time. A more effective response to a child or teen’s bad choices is a consequence, rather than a punishment.  Consequences help a teen to make smarter choices and are healthier and more respectful forms of discipline.  The consequence can also be selected by both parent and teenager, and should be related directly to the misbehavior.  Over time, using more consequences instead of punishments can actually strengthen the relationship between the parent and the teen.  If this was the first time that you caug...

I produce and host a one-hour television show called Creating Cooperative Kids.  The show airs on many public access channels and helps parents and teachers with challenging behavior issues for raising cooperative and resilient children and teens. On a recent episode I featured a group of moms from Connecticut who all co-authored and self-published the book Just Ordinary Moms: True Stories by Moms for Moms in May of 2013.  You’ll find it on Amazon for sure. The book is filled with true stories of motherhood are addicting, entertaining, and heart-warming - you can't read just one!  Motherhood is wonderful, most of the time ~ except when difficult things happen, such as your teenage boy doesn't come home, your daughter is caught with her pants down or text messages lead to terrible truths. The book is also contains sixteen stories, two poems, plus a final haunting story that literally (as they indicated) washed up onto the beach sands of Cape Cod and w...

In Eagle Point, Oregon last weekend, a 14-year-old girl died at a party from inhaling helium from a pressurized tank.  According to the news report , she was pressured by others at the party to take a turn at wearing the mask and inhaling the gas, after consuming at least 8 alcoholic drinks.   Several adults responsible for putting on the party and providing drugs and alcohol have been charged. This tragedy is a nightmare for the parent of any teenager.  Some reading about this may have the false belief that it could never happen to their daughter or son.  Others may ask, “What could the parents have done differently to keep this young girl from losing her life?”  One thing that could have stopped this unfortunate incident is the parents having knowledge of exactly where their daughter was going that night.  According to the news report , the parents believed their 14-year-old was going to a slumber party with friends.  Instead, she got into a ca...

A mom once asked me for help with a situation involving her two boys, ages 5 and 7. She said they were constantly fighting at the morning breakfast table. She wanted a quick-fix solution to the problem because it was driving her crazy. As in all instances when I am asked about behavior situations, I need more information about what was going on just before and during the problem. This additional information helps me assess what may be causing the problem and come up with possible solutions. I asked mom what she is usually doing at the time of the fighting and she told me that she is scurrying around to get lunches made and the house picked up before they leave for the day. She admitted she is likely to be barking orders and making demands on the boys out of frustration for always running late. We can all relate. My solution for her… sit down with the boys at the table, set a timer for 10 minutes, and for her not to talk, just listen. She thought it was the dumbest idea she had ever hea...

It’s Christmas day and I've got a few minutes when everyone at our house is busy. I have a soon-to-be twelve year-old stepdaughter and I’m enjoying raising her and having the opportunity to influence her in so many positive ways. I've been Olivia’s step dad since she was 8 years old. My own children are grown and all in their twenties, leading productive lives. I’m getting to do it all over again and I love it. The Christmas gift that seems to have been the biggest hit was the knee-high sneakers we got her. You know, those black canvas things with the white rubber soles. She’s got them all laced up and has had them on since we opened gifts this morning (they looked the best with her pajamas and bathrobe).  It’s been wonderful this morning, watching her be a little girl once again, a nice break from the regular hormonal rages and her regular disdain for wanting to be with her mother and I. It seems like just yesterday, she was 9 and collecting Web...