Skip to main content

Teaching With Routine and Sameness

cooperative kids
Have you ever noticed how your children love to catch you making a mistake, especially when you do something out of order?  Children learn about the world around them by sameness and routine and they crave patterns that they can learn from.

One evening we had visitors over for dinner and it was a special occasion.  The food was coming out of the oven in phases to keep it warm.  One of our young guests must have been hungry so she served herself what was on the table and took a bite.  My oldest daughter, the perfectionist child, was quick to catch her breaking a dinner-time rule and called attention to the violation.  Our family procedures had trained her that we all start eating together, after the blessing.

Use this teaching tool to your advantage, especially when you want to increase the cooperation from your young children.  Family situations such as the morning rush, dinner time and bedtime are 3 situations that can be stressful on parents and children.  Creating a reoccurring sequence of events during these times can make them easier to get through.

Let’s take bedtime for example.  Children don’t like going to bed because they fear that they are going to miss out on something good.  They have this perception that “the REAL party begins when they have to go to bed.”  At the same time, parents can’t wait to get their children in bed so they can de-stress, relax or in some cases, get more work done.  If your children sense that you’re trying to rush them off to bed, they will prolong the event.

Allow your children to help you come up with all of the activities at bedtime and put them in sequential order.  Have them help you create large pictures that represent each of the events in the sequence: a story book, a pair of pajamas, a toilet, a glass of water, etc.  Next, tape each of the pictures high on the wall and out of their reach, placing them in sequential order. 

The additional key to success with this activity is to include your children in the process of creating it and to make it fun!  Put aside your mind chatter and stress, and take on an excited demeanor as you call out each of the items in order to have them complete them.  Go with them and participate.  The more engaged and fun you are in this process, the more they will feel a part of it.

If your child catches you doing something out of order, relax and don’t get defensive.  Be humble and thank them for catching the mistake.  They will feel respected and important that they uncovered the flaw.  Just try it on purpose sometime; break a sequence just to give them something to focus on and watch their legalistic nature make an issue of your mistake.


Teaching children cooperation and social skills can be a challenge.  Your little children do not arrive in the world ready to comply.  It takes time, patience, and practice to get them to cooperate and participate.  Use routine and sameness whenever you can and notice how much easier parenting can be.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Contact Form

Name

Email *

Message *

About Me

My photo
Bill Corbett
Bill Corbett is a nationally recognized parent educator, author, and speaker known for his practical and compassionate approach to raising children. He has helped countless parents, caregivers, and professionals better understand child behavior and discipline through his workshops, seminars, books, and media appearances. As the creator of the "Love, Limits & Lessons" parenting program, Corbett emphasizes respectful and effective communication, age-appropriate expectations, and the importance of emotional connection in child-rearing. His work is grounded in positive discipline strategies that foster cooperation and confidence in both children and parents.

Popular posts from this blog

Why Love and Logic has it Wrong... Again!

Children don’t often demonstrate respect because they either don’t know what it looks like or, as the Father of Individual Psychology, Alfred Adler taught us, their disrespectful behavior is their way of attempting to get unmet needs satisfied.  The secret to getting kids to treat their parents and others with respect is to first treat them with respect and to then help them find their place in the family or the classroom.  But the creators of the LOVE AND LOGIC parenting program would have you believe differently.  All parenting programs are not created equal and in my opinion, many are misguided and offer parents and teachers bad information.  It is my belief that we should not just be demanding and manipulating our kids to be more cooperative, we should be raising children who WANT to cooperate and be engaged in the family or classroom because they feel encouraged to do so. HOW TO STOP KIDS' BEGGING FOR TOYS One of those programs that frequently offers...
6 comments
Read more

Is Your Child Asking for a Labubu?

What is this "Creepy-Cute" Collectible All About? Labubu has become a huge hit around the world as a collectible that brings together fashion lovers, collectors, and celebrities. Kasing Lung made this small monster in 2015 for his Monsters art collection, which was based on Nordic mythology. After Hong Kong artist Kasing Lung made Labubu in 2015 for his The Monsters art project, Chinese toy company Pop Mart made a lot of them in blind-box sets. The toy comes in a blind package that hides all of its features. There are more than 300 variations as of the time this article was written. So what's the big deal? 1. The excitement of perhaps acquiring a rare item. Psychologists believe it's like gambling or an obsession, and this makes a dopamine loop. 2. The mix of silky fur and pointed, jagged teeth in "ugly-cute" and edgy styles is quite appealing. 3. A desire that celebrities and social media make people feel. Kids want to stay up with the current trends be...
Post a Comment
Read more

Connection First: Why Your Child Needs You More Than Your Consequences

Most parents share the desire for their child to become kind while developing respect and emotional strength. A peaceful home environment matters more to you than the chaotic atmosphere of constant power struggles between you and your child. The urge to establish consequences for boundary pushing from children leads parents into a pattern of questioning what punishment will stop their behavior. Children do not require increased disciplinary measures. Their needs extend beyond the realm of consequences to include a stronger connection. Get the LOVE, LIMITS & LESSONS cooperations book by CLICKING HERE . The Myth of “Making Them Learn” The standard parenting approach instructs parents to remove privileges when their child misbehaves. The method works to obtain temporary compliance, but it does not lead to sustained growth. Children develop better through relationships that offer them emotional safety and help them manage their feelings and actions. Our fru...
Post a Comment
Read more