Posts

Consequences for 4-Year Olds

Image
I was reading a parenting blog in which the author used an example of what to do if a child lied about taking the papers and markers off the teachers desk. Her suggested consequence was that she couldn't use the papers and markers for the rest of the day. That is clearly punishment, especially at 4 years old. The consequence to a 4 year old taking paper and markers off the teachers desk is to coach him into putting them back and making a big deal by thanking him for putting them back. Then teaching him how to ask to use them in the future. (Photo courtesy Photo by Jason Sung on Unsplash ) I suggested that she keep in mind that herr focus on CONFRONTING THE LIE and then applying PUNISHMENT RATHER THAN TRUE CONSEQUENCES are very confrontational and could cause a parent or teacher to NOT really get the results they are really looking for... a cooperative and independent child. Instead, the results could create a child who might feel bad, fight more and even lie more. The late philoso...
Post a Comment
Read more

When A Child Behaves Like a Cat (or Other Characters)

Image
Children experimenting as an animal is absolutely normal. They do it because they are simply exploring or perhaps, to gain some attention. Parents should allow their children to behave like a cat at home and you as the parent, simply ignore it. If your child answers you with a meow, you can simply tell them, "I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. I will listen to you when you speak like a little girl." Then just walk away. If your child enters an activity at home meowing like a cat, for example coming to the dinner table. Just calmly tell her that only people can eat at the table and when she returns to being a little girl, she will get food and the rest of the family will speak to her and listen to her again. In other words, don't try to control your child when they are in one of these exploring modes. Let it be and get involved when she tries to participate in the family. Do not meow back at her, do not crawl around on all fours with her and don'...
Post a Comment
Read more

When Your Child Says "I HATE YOU!"... They are Really Just Mad

Image
You've done so much for them, slaved for them, and sacrificed for them, and then if you don't give them what they want, they get mad at you. It hardly seems fair, all the things we do for our kids and they don't appreciate it. Then we hear them say things like, "I hate you," or "I hate this house." We hear, "You're a mean mom," or "I'm mad at you!" It's common for kids to get mad at their parents but the solution is the hardest for parents to do... just let them be mad. Effective parents learn quickly that they are not their child's friend; they are their parents. But if the parents aren't prepared to hear it and know how to respond, they get defensive or they get even. Worse, they give in to regain the love the child is withholding. I was in the toy section of a department store one day, shopping for a gift for my grandson. A mom and her little boy were in the same aisle, and the little boy, about seven, was admir...
Post a Comment
Read more

DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD

Image
14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 14: COMPOSE A POEM FOR YOUR CHILD – Compose a poem about your child or describing how much you love her. Print if off on special preprinted paper with a border that can be purchased at office supply stores. Frame it and hang it on your child’s bedroom wall. You could even include the child’s picture or her foot or handprints if you had them done earlier. Sign it and read it to her nightly.
Post a Comment
Read more

DAY 13 FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM FEEL LOVED

Image
14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 13 FIND OUT WHAT MAKES THEM FEEL LOVED – Ask your child what he likes others to do to or for him that makes him feel loved. Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES OF CHILDREN (Northfield Publishing, 1997), explains how each individual feels loved in different ways; receiving gifts, hearing words of affirmation, acts of kindness, or touch. Ask your child which one makes him feel loved.
Post a Comment
Read more

DAY 12: MAILBOXES

Image
14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 12: MAILBOXES – In a family meeting have everyone make and decorate a mailbox using any household craft items. On slips of paper, have everyone write short love notes to everyone at the table as a practice run and then insert them in the appropriate mailboxes. Have everyone hang their mailboxes on their bedroom door knobs for accepting mail whenever someone desires to write a note.
Post a Comment
Read more

DAY 11: SHARE HOW YOU LOVE YOURSELF

Image
14 DAYS OF TIPS FOR DEMONSTRATING LOVE TO YOUR CHILD DAY 11: SHARE HOW YOU LOVE YOURSELF – Create teachable moments with your child when they are open to learning, by explaining (and demonstrating) what you do to love yourself. This might be a tough exercise for some, but teaching a child to love himself starts by setting a healthy example they can see.
Post a Comment
Read more